I don’t. Rosie is laughing over her shoulder and hurriedly weaving us around the dance floor to an unknown place in the club, and I feel like I’m floating. For the first time in my life, I didn’t act as Keller McCarthy’s son. I was just Locke, acting as her man, and I’m proud of that.
Rosalie is still laughing when she pulls us into a hallway. It’s the best-lit place I’ve seen all night, and I squint my eyes against the sudden pain of fluorescent lights.
There’s a line of people leaning against one side of the wall, snaking into a small room, with a sign I can’t read while being blinded by the light.
Rosie pulls us past them. There’s a click of a door, and someone calling out behind us, “That bathroom is out of order.”
In her sweet voice, Rosie replies, “We know.”
twenty-four
LOCKE
The music becomes muffled.Rosie slamming the bathroom door shut might be the reason, but I think the mix of adrenaline and anxiety has some part in it too.
“Holy shit,” I say between deep, uneven breaths. Now that we’re away from the ringing music and large crowds, the full weight of what happened crashes into me. I’m still high on the thought of what I did and why I did it, but my mind has trouble grasping the experience. “Holy shit. I can’t believe I just did that.”
“Take a second, love.”
I’m trying. I push myself to focus on Rosalie tenderly rubbing my hands between hers, but the mix of emotions is still overwhelming. Both good and bad. The room is spinning and my heart is about to explode.
Everything rushes into my brain. The words I said. The image of Jeremiah standing there. The phones held up at eye-level while we weaved out of the mob.
The dawning realization of what might come next adds fuel to the fire.
“I just cursed a guy out in a club and someone definitely has a recording of it.”
“I don’t think ‘cursed out’ is the right phrasing but…”
She trails off. My mind is honed in on the high likelihood of a video. Even if someone didn’t know who I was, the attention we had on us was enough. There’s definitely a recording.
Said recording could be uploading right now. It could reach my father in mere hours. The uneasiness of wondering what he might say feels too familiar. I wait for the next step in the cycle.
After anxiety takes hold of my brain, stressing about the punishment usually comes next. Then, there’s regretting every decision I’ve made. After that, it’s coming up with an excuse he won’t accept anyways.
I wait. I sit with my anxiety. The loud EDM music continues bumping through the walls—though its subdued sound is more calming than pulsating. When the song changes, I realize my breathing has steadied, and the world’s brightest smile is shining up at me.
There are no anxious feelings of “What next?”. I’m afraid of what my father will say, but not enough to regret everything that happened outside that door.
“Holy shit. I can’t believe I just did that.” I repeat myself, more stable this time.
“How do you feel? Is your breathing okay?” Rosalie releases my hand to place hers on my chest.
I nod. “Better. The anxiety is going down. The adrenaline is still there.”
“Good. That’s the good stuff,” She jokes while wiggling her eyebrows. It pulls a laugh out of me. “Thank you, Locke. For sticking up for me and saying something. For being there.”
“You don’t need to thank me for that. No one should put you in that situation to begin with.”
“I know, but it must have taken a lot for you to say something. Being assertive like that isn’t something you necessarily… do.”
I hum. I’ve never doubted that Rosalie knows me, but this proves it on a deeper level. She sees every version of me—even past ones, before she was in my life. I don’t think Locke from three months ago would dare step in a club. Let alone call attention to himself by getting into an argument. At a bar. With someone who knows of my father.
“I didn’t. But it felt right. I had to say something,” I whisper, my volume dropping. “Was it okay? What I said, I mean. Did I… defend you well?”
My hands reach out to adjust my glasses. Rosie’s eyes soften.
“You did amazing. I’m so lucky to have you. But, how doyoufeel?”
