My eyes widened at the proclamation. “Seb…You have…Earned it back mostly. I just don’t know if I can be with?—”
He held a wounded hand up. “Don’t say it. Until you are one-hundred percent sure, don’t say it.”
My lips sealed. He was right. I wasn’t positive that he and I would never be together again, and I needed time to figure that out.
A smile crept upon his bruised, but still chiseled face. “This is the progress I like to hear, though.”
I pursed my lips to fight my own grin. “Yeah, yeah. Don’t let it get to your head.”
The humor faded with his sigh. “I wish you would at least believe that the things I didn’t tell you were because I had your best interest in mind.”
“I do believe you when you say that. I believe that you had my best interest in mind, it just doesn't change the fact that you should have told me anyway.”
“I understand.” He nodded.
“Can I askyousomething now?”
“Of course,” he replied with a wince as he shuffled his broken body.
“Why did you feel like you had to baby me? Have I not proven myself to you? Have I not shown that I can handle all of the shit that’s been thrown at me?” Indignation clasped a tight hand around my neck. “Or am I truly as breakable as everyone thinks I am?”
He drew his hand back and crossed his arms over his chest, the pressure squeezing his biceps. “Gods love—erm…Maeve—no. I was trying to spare you from any additional pain and fear. If I could take your pain from you, I would, so why would I want to be the person who adds to it? It breaks my fucking heart when I have to tell you the hard stuff. If it meant saving you any ounce of agony, I would always rather keep that burden to myself.”
“But I deserve the truth,” I answered under my breath. “I deserved it when we were together, and I deserve it now that we're friends.”
Biting his lip, he looked up at the ceiling. “Friends,” he repeated the word, shaking his head as his eyes drifted into mine and he leaned forward, dipping his lips to the side of my neck. “You can try to deny what we are, but you and I both know that we’re more than just friends.”
My skin pricked up as his words caressed my collar bone. “No,” I forced the word out. “That's all we are now. Friends.”
“I’ll take what I can get.” He smiled, awfully cockily for someone who just got friend-zoned. “Has anyone ever told you that you are incredibly stubborn?”
A subtle laugh escaped me. “You know what, I think I may have been told that once or twice in my life.”
“If you just want to be friends, that's fine with me. But can we agree to put this all behind us?”
“Yes. Of course. I’m sorry it took me so long. I know I tend to hold on to things that I should let go of…that’s just how my brain works. But I'll work on it, I swear.”
“Your brain is perfect. Nothing to work on. And all things considered, I think you took a reasonable amount of time to process everything.”
Venay reappeared, announcing herself with another soft knock. “Are you ready?” she asked him.
He hesitated, so I answered for him. “He is,” I said, then slipped out of the room.
I had hardly made it to the end of the corridor before I heard his scream as Venay cracked his ankle.
A book landedon my lap with a thud, and I looked up at its pitcher.
“There you go,” Sawyer pointed to the journal, “allunenchantedand ready for your viewing pleasure.” He threw himself down next to me on the sofa in the common room.
“Awesome,” I mumbled, my tone bleak.
“Don’t sound too excited,” he quipped, his smile sinking when he noticed my unenthusiasm.
Chewing my lips, I passed the book between my hands.
“What’s wrong? I thought you’d be halfway through this thing already.”
I shrugged. “It seems wrong to read it without Sebastian seeing it first. He doesn’t even know we have it.”
