“This is important. Sit up,” I demanded.
He groaned, but didn’t budge an inch.
I showed myself to the mattress and laid on my side next to him. I’d never noticed it before, but his torso had freckles that matched the ones on his cheeks. Granted, I had never been this up close and personal with him while he was shirtless, but regardless, my vision snagged on the trail of dark hair that travelled from his navel to the awfully low waistband of his sleep pants.
Fucking hell. Was I checking outSawyer?
If that didn’t speak to my sexual deprivation and the fact that I hadn’t orgasmed in weeks, then I didn’t know what would.
“I was just with Venay,” I sputtered out, removing my lingering gaze from his abdomen.
“And?” he puffed out, allowing his eyelids to seal as his hands folded upon his grooved stomach.
“She healed my arm. I should be ready to go back to Draemor in a few days.” I would leave now, but seeing as no one else was ready to go, I figured it wouldn't kill me to listen to Venay’s advice.
“I would normally try to argue, but I can’t be bothered to reason with you right now. So if you want to believe that we will let you come with us when we go back, then sure, have at it.”
My brows wrinkled as I slapped his upper arm. “You're mean when you're tired.”
“You're annoying when I’m tired,” he deflected with the hint of a smirk.
When I smacked him again, his eyes snapped open, meeting mine.
“You aren't going to let me sleep until I letyoublab, right?”
I nodded and jumped right into business. “Turns out Venay used to be friends with Queen Cicily. She also told me that thereisanother journal. And get this—it was enchanted by Venay.”
Sawyer’s left brow curved up. “Why would she enchant a notebook?”
“She said that it hasvital informationin it. Whatever that means. Maybe there is something in there that can help us kill Beaumont. Or something to help us get Seb out.”
“That would be nice.”
“The only problem is that I have no idea where it could be. I thought it went down with the castle, but Venay said that it can’t be destroyed. Her enchantment protects it from all harm.”
Running a hand down his face and pausing on his freshly-shaven chin, Sawyer groaned groggily. “And I suppose you want to start searching for it right away?”
My mouth bowed into an innocent smile. “The sooner the better.”
His eyes settled on my lips for a fraction of a second before jumping right back to my eyes.
Pulling back a bit, I wondered if Sebastian's question was actually as out-of-pocket as I’d thought.
He cleared his throat, closing his eyes once more. “Fine. But can you just let me sleep for a few hours? I’m of no use when I’m tired, and I certainly won’t be able to save Sebastian's life if I can’t see straight.”
“Fine,” I grumbled, rolling to my back instead of getting up.
In the silence of the night, I stared at his ceiling while my mind wandered to a dark, dangerous place. A place that I hated venturing off into, but a place that was more familiar than most other areas of my mind.
If something happened to Sebastian, I’d never forgive myself. He was being held captive solely so Beaumont could get tome—and I knew for a fact that they weren’t keeping him in the guest quarters. And the last thing I said to him…Fuck. If he died and the last thing I ever said to him was how he was a selfish jackass who never even really cared about me?—
The thought made me want to curl up and die, but instead, more pain swarmed me. The aching in my heart that had beentightly caged away burst free, reminding me of the grief I had locked within it.
Thoughts of my mother intruded on me. Visions of her body burning to ash; her bones being crushed under thousands of pounds of brick and cement; how all I had left of the person who raised me was the star pendant she’d given me on my twenty-first birthday.
My birthday—I’d forgotten about it. It was in a few days, but I certainly wouldn't be celebrating. There was nothingworthcelebrating. I had power that I couldn't contain, markings on my arms that I didn’t even fucking like for that matter, the pressure of the world on my shoulders, and I was so conflicted in the guy-department that I was considering abstaining from love and sex altogether. I could become a Devotee and spend the rest of my life in Caelestis’ sanctuary. Oh wait—no, I couldn't. Caelestis’ sanctuary was probably gone along with half of the kingdom.
“Are you going to let me sleep, or?” Sawyer’s confused voice broke through my thoughts.
