Okay, who was I kidding? There was no way I could have stood if I tried.
I let my eyelids shut, blocking out his face to reduce the temptation that tried to breach the barriers of my common sense.
He pulled his hand away, granting me some relief, but also leaving my skin feeling bare.
“So we really aren’t together? After everything?” he asked, and hearing him say it made my heart tear in half.
Exhaling all the air in my lungs, I shook my head, then granted my eyes vision. “I don’t know how to be with someone I can’t trust.”
He nodded once, then angled his head up at the deepening sky. “What can I do to change that?”
“I think if anything, it’s just going to take time,” I answered, clasping my hands together so I didn’t do something stupid and rash—like trail my fingers along his jaw.
“I’ll do whatever it takes, no matter how long. But for now, what can I do to help mend what I’ve done?”
“I don’t know, Seb.”
His lips paled when they pursed. “Okay. When you are ready to relinquish your hold on your stubbornness and admit that you still want to be with me, I’ll be waiting. In the meantime, can I ask you something?”
My attention settled on an older couple walking through the courtyard, stopping to sit on a bench across the way. They smiled as they held hands, and the sight stung every nerve in my body.
“Sure,” I belatedly agreed with a heavy breath, turning my attention back to him.
“Is there something going on,” he paused to swallow what was likely a knot in his throat, “between you and Sawyer?”
My brows pulled together, my skull bounding backwards. “What? Why would you think that?”
Did he really think I could move on from someone likehimthat fast? In all honesty, I wasn’t sure if I wouldeverbe able to move on from him, even knowing that I couldn't be with him in our current state.
He dragged a hand slowly down his face. “I dunno, you guys seem to have gotten really close since I was gone in Craterra, and I was just wondering.”
“I mean, yeah. Weareclose. He was there for me when you were gone. He was one of the only people who understood what I was going through. He’s honest with me and sticks up for me. He’s my best friend,” I countered, though I was not completely stumped by Sebastian’s assumption.
I can’t lose you. I wouldn’t survive it.
“He probably sees me as more of a sister than anything else,” I added, more for my own peace of mind than his.
Sebastian’s cheeks tinted red at my response. “Yeah, of course. I don’t know why I thought that.”
Taking the opportunity to change the subject, I said, “You want me to trust you again? Tell me something that I don’t know. Prove to me that you can tell me the hard stuff, even knowing that I may not like it.”
Instantaneously, his jaw clenched. “I know exactly what to tell you, but I know for a fact that you won’t like it.”
“Tell me.”
He backed away a bit, possibly in fear that what he was going to say would result in my fist colliding with his balls.
“I don’t know if this will help our situation.”
My blood warmed to an unbearable temperature. “Tell me.”
His eyes tunneled in on me, and his fists clenched by his sides as he rose to his feet, offering a hand for me to take. “I’m leaving in the morning to return to Draemor. Please be careful while I’m gone.Extra careful. If you see anything weird, let Archer know. Okay?”
I agreed with a nod, accepting his help in pulling me to my feet and waiting for him to spit it out.
He sucked his lips in before sighing them back out. “Based on the ending of the first one, it would appear that there's another journal.”
“Another journal?”Pia marveled. “Where?”
