He chortled. “No. If you do it too often?—”
“I’ll enjoy life a little bit more and be carefree?”
Through a cloud of smoke, he shot me a disapproving look. “Maeve?—”
My feet felt delicate and weightless on the ground as I stood upon them, pulling in fresh air before expelling my every dramatized thought. “If I do this more often, then I won’t care that a bunch more people are going to die because of me. And I won’t care that I broke my best friend's heart, or that my motheris dead.” My brain somehow thought now was an appropriate time to toss a laugh into the mix.
Sebastian’s eyes bulged near impossibly as he watched me, silent.
“It won’t matter that I have thought about dying more times than I can count on one hand. It won’t bother me as much that I hurt you and ruined your friendship with Sawyer. I won’t care that my miraculously alive father and I have hardly sparked a relationship.”
Another unwarranted giggle spilled from my sticky lips.
Sebastian sucked his lips between his teeth.
“If I do this more, I won’t wonder why Blythe put her soul into my body or why she had to pickmeto do all of this shit, too. Because for a moment, just a teeny, tiny moment, I might be able to forget everything.”
I spun in an opened arm circle until I felt dizzy, and when I came to a halt, Sebastian stared blankly at me.
Not removing his hazy pink eyes from me, he put the joint out against the bench. He tossed it to the ground, crushing the leaf into the dirt with his boot. “Andthatis why you should not do this more often.”
My lips pursed to the side. “Yeah.Maybe,” I drawled with a slight snicker.
He rose to meet me, locking his powerful arms around my waist and pulling me tightly into him. His palm secured the back of my neck, holding me against his chest, forcing me to breathe in his soothing scent.
“I love you,” he whispered into my hair, the faint floral scent of his breath coating the air around us. “So godsdamn much. Every single thing about you.”
I completely melted into him, using his body to support my own and fully submerging myself in him. The beat of his heart. The feel of his skin. The smell of his clothes.
“I love you more. Every single thing aboutyou.” Pinewood and frost caressed my nostrils, his familiar fragrance taunting my body. If we weren't in the center of the courtyard right now, nothing would have stopped me from throwing myself at him.
Ah, fuck it.
I pulled back to see his perfect face. “Actually, that's a lie. There is one thing I don't love about you.”
Genuinely concerned, Sebastian stumbled on his word. “Wh-what?”
Rising on my toes, I cupped my hand around my mouth and put my lips to his ear. “I don’t love that you aren't inside of me right now.”
I fell onto flat feet and he blinked once before his eyes stuck open, staring at me, threatening to destroy me right where I stood.
“Maeve,” he growled my name slowly, and the way he said it made me crave his body even more. His vivid blue irises darted around our surroundings. “This is not a good place for you to tease me like that.”
“Why not? You're the one who suggested it back in Mealioria.” My fingertip lightly skimmed over his collarbone, the touch making him visibly shiver. “Do you remember what you said? Or should I show you?”
His eyes grew wide and his desire grew obvious.
Not giving him a chance to answer, I dropped to my knees before him.
“Maeve…We shouldn't do this right now. We just smoked, and someone could see us.”
Turning my head from one side to the other, I shrugged my shoulders. “Seems like the perfect time to do this. No one is around, and I've heard orgasms can be even better when you’re high.”
He stared down at me.
Halting my act with an eye roll, I showed him my serious side. “I only took a few hits. I was already deep in my feelings before. Now, do you want me to suck your cock, or should we waste this high and just go to bed?”
For all of a moment, he considered the latter, but his sigh and the release of tension in his thighs let me know his answer.
