“That was fast,” Pia said as we followed Azain down the glass stairs.
I trailed a finger along the crystal railing. “Not fast enough,” I muttered under my breath.
Sebastian’s and my room was more like a house. It had an entire living space, decorated with a sofa, chairs, and bookcase, along with a huge bath basin in the washroom. The bedroom alone was the size of my room back in Caelestis, and the bed…
I ran the taupe-colored sheets between my fingertips. “Silk?”
“Only the finest,” Azain confirmed, taking a back step out of the room. “I’ll leave you both to whatever it is you're going to doin here.” He ran a hand down his face, shaking his head. “The wardrobe is stocked. Make sure you look presentable tonight. You remember the standards King Franlow has set on attire?”
He waited for a nod of approval from Sebastian before leaving us in the living space.
Upon his exit, I returned to the bedroom, throwing my body down onto the glossy covers, my body melting into them. “I’m exhausted,” I exhaled through a lazy breath.
Sebastian fell down beside me, reaching a hand out to stroke my hair.
“And I smell like a horse, so don’t try anything,” I added. Not to mention I still felt entirely inferior compared to his hot, tiny-waisted, high-heeled ex.
“Same. We could try that bath out,” he suggested, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me into him.
“Eh.”
His dark brows met in the middle of his forehead. “Something is bothering you,” he stated the obvious.
I scoffed. So many things were bothering me. Our whole situation with Draemor, of course, but also my self-consciousness ever since I laid eyes on Samara. The Hykahs. How I had the soul of a goddess in addition to my own. Oh, and can’t forget about the Sawyer situation.
Ugh.
“Tell me,” he demanded, his usual rough voice falling soft. “I promise not to overreact.”
I gave him my eye contact as I ran my palm over the slight stubble along his jawline. “Can you cut Sawyer some slack? If I hadn’t kissed him back, then he probably never would have said anything about his feelings for me. This is my fault for leading him on and I just…feel bad.”
“Maeve, by what he said, he’s had feelings for you for months, if not longer. This is likely nothing new. Nothing that kissing him would have changed too much.”
I shuffled up onto his lap, unintentionally drawing a groan from his throat when my ass settled on his groin. “I just feel guilty. For so many reasons.”
Sebastian slid his hands down to my hips, squeezing them with his fingertips. “You don’t need to, but I’ll lay off. I’m pissed at him, but I’ll try to drop it for you.”
“It’s not just that. The whole thing isn’t that simple.” I chewed my lips as guilt swallowed me whole. Suddenly every slightly bad thing or thought I’d had in the past month hit me like a brick.
“What is it then?”
Against my better judgment, I let the confession spill out of me like lava. “He tried to tell me before, but I ran away before he could because I knew what he was going to say. That's when I went to see Pia and drank instead of training. That’s what I didn’t want to talk about that night.”
Sebastian pulled his back up so he was sitting, then scooted us back so he could use the headboard for support. “Ah.”
“She said I should let him get it out of his system and give him the space to tell me.” This day had already been an absolute whirlwind of emotions, and I was being swept away.
“I am so in love with you that it hurts. You are everything I have always wanted and more. And I am terrified that deep down you really despise me for what I did—for ruining your friendship with him and for betraying your trust in me. And now we're under the same roof as that drop dead gorgeous woman you used to sleep with, who surely never kissed your best friend,” I stuttered through the admission.
Sebastian grazed a finger along my cheek, gently skimming my gemstones before pulling me into his chest and resting his chin on the top of my head.
“You must hate me. Youshouldhate me. You should hate me for holding a grudge about the journal, for what happened with Sawyer when I couldn't handle my own emotions, for being so damn insecure.”
I paused to catch my breath, pulling out of his hold to look into his gorgeous eyes. “And if I’m right—if you secretly despise me—what's to stop you from running back to Samara? I mean, we're here—might as well. I’m sure you two hadwaybetter sex than any sex I could ever give you. You could leave this room right now and go to hers. That would be the ultimate payback towards me. That would be exactly what I deserve.”
My breathing hastened to a level that I couldn’t get control of. Although a part of me felt better for sharing my every inner thought, another part of me felt worse.
“Maeve, breathe.” Sebastian's cool tone flowed in one ear and out the other. “I couldneverhate you, and I mean that to the very depths of my soul. From the second I found out about you and Sawyer, Iknewthat I still loved you with every fiber in my being.”
