“You heard me,” Sebastian snapped back, clicking his tongue.
“You can’t be serious.”
“I am so incredibly serious, love,” Sebastian deadpanned, his glare daring me to try and test him.
“You aren’t in charge of me,” I snapped, to which he bit back a cocky smirk.
He stepped forward, dipping his lips to my ear and lowering his voice. “I beg to differ. And I know you would, too.”
Despite the immediate release of lust within me, I still shut down, my brain collapsing and my heart closing off. Anger consumed every inch of my body. “You know, I see the resemblance now.”
He stepped away and cocked his eyebrow in a way that dared me to say what he knew I was going to say.
“Between you and your father. Trying to control lives that aren’t your own,” I seethed. By trying to take away any say I had in this, he was following right in his father’s footsteps.
Sebastian’s jaw ticked, though before he could comment by putting a voice to his pissed off expression, Pia joined the ever growing army against me. “Sorry, Maeve. But sometimes it seems like you have a death wish. I’m with them on this, too.”
Maybe it was everything coming to a head, but her being against me as well made me blow up.
“I don’t have a death wish, but I think you all do.” My arms wide, I gestured around the room. “I don’t want to die, but the last thing I want is for any one of you to die for me. None of you asked to be dragged into this mess. Hell, if I’d never even met any of you, you would all be safe and happy. Jocelyn would be alive, my mother would be alive,” my eyes welled with tears as I turned to Sebastian, “and you wouldn't have been tortured and almost killed in Draemor if we had never met.”
I drew a deep inhale to help me continue my rant, but Sawyer slapped a hand over my mouth, taking his turn to speak. “If we had never met you, Beaumont would still be creating Hykahs, he would still be trying to claim the empire, and Jocelyn and your mother would still be dead. Us knowing you hasnothingto do with that. Does it raise the stakes a bit? Sure. But I’d rather risk my life every damn day than have never met you, and I know everyone in this room agrees.”
“I don’t,” Kade mumbled, but I could tell by his tone that he was kidding.
“That’s not even true, and you know it,” I cried back, hot tears clogging my tear ducts, though I refused to let them fall.
Sawyer lowered his voice. “Let's figure out how to destroy the Hykahs, then go from there.”
“Archer is right. Beaumont probably isn’t even back to Draemor with a new enchanter yet. We can send some guards into the forest and at the first sign of trouble, we’ll be prepared,” Sebastian added, his tone also more calm than it had been prior.He was no doubt ticked off over mycomment, but I didn’t have it in me to care.
I was having deja vu, and I’m sure they all were, too. “I feel like we just keep going in circles, creating plans that fall through and arguing with each other about whose life is more important. It's exhausting!” I protested, sucking in air before continuing to shout. “So youareactually suggesting that we wait to see what happens?” I asked Sebastian for clarification of the stupid idea.
“Yes. For a little while. In the meantime, we will read through that text about the markings that I showed you,” Sebastian began, reaching an arm out to me, which I dodged, “and we can try to find out more information about the Hykahs.”
I had a few ideas of my own, but no one was going to like them. If it came down to saving my loved ones, I would happily give myself over. But I refused to become one of thosethings, so I had a few backup plans.
Idea number one—I would pack up and leave in the middle of the night for Draemor.Alone. I would make sure to give myself to Beaumont long before he and his army began their journey to Lumosia. They would come here anyway no doubt, but it would give my friends time to flee and find somewhere safe. I would follow his rules for as long as possible, then, when I got the chance, I would kill the sick son of a bitch before he could turn me into one of his mutants.
Idea number two—the same as plan one, except if Icouldn’tkill the sick son of a bitch, I would kill myself. Without me to turn into a Hykah, his plans would need to be reevaluated, thus giving my friends more time to stop him.
Idea number three—the darkest, and more sickening idea was to end this entire thing right now by ending myself. I didn’t want to die, but at this point, I couldn’t help but wonder if it would be for the best. My friends would be safe for the time being, during which they could kill Beaumont. I fullybelieved that the biggest risk to their lives wasn’t the Hykahs or Beaumont. It was me.
None of the ideas solved the Hykah issue, but they solved themeissue, and I was the match to the flame in this situation.
The more I weighed my options, the more appealing option three became, which scared me. I hadn't felt thaturgein years, and the thought of it coming back was more than unwelcome. Regardless, there it was—the invisible thread between life and death that I balanced on and a pair of shears waiting for my hand to cut it.
All three ideas sucked, but I didn’t see any other options that involved keeping the people I cared about unharmed. So if it came down to it and we started seeing even more signs of trouble, I knew what I had to do.
“We can also look into what Leighton said about you. We can go through her things, maybe there was something she didn’t show us,” Kohen piped in, breaking his usual silence.
“Whatever,” I growled, pushing my way between Sebastian and Sawyer so I could get the hell out of there. “This is my life, too, you know,” I turned to add. “And if anyone should get a say about what happens to it, it should be me.”
“You can say whatever you want.” Sebastian's eyes narrowed as he took a step towards me. “Doesn't mean we have to do what you say.”
“Okay Aldous junior,” I shot back, knowing the immature words would sting, but still not giving a single fuck.
I mumbled to myself through the halls and all of the way to my room.
