“What are you looking for?” Sebastian stepped out of the washroom, steam surrounding his damp body, bare aside from a white towel wrapped at his hips and his glasses on his face.
“I figured we could use some fun. So I was looking to see where Caelestis was in comparison to Lumosia.”
The mattress sank a bit when he sat beside me, picking up a corner of the map in his hand. “I wouldn’t call visiting the ruins of Caelestis fun, but regardless, it's way too far. Too risky right now.”
I nodded. “I know. I realized that as soon as I saw the map. I just thought it would be nice if we could go to the beach like we all used to.”
He pointed to the eastern most portion of the map. “There’s shore this way. Still kind of far though, but I’m sure we could make it work if you really wanted. There's no major cities or villages that way, so it's not as risky.”
I sighed, making my disappointment obvious, then folded the map up. “No. It’s okay. It was just a random idea. Not good timing for tourism, anyway.”
“Probably not, love.” He pressed a soft kiss to my forehead. “We’ll get there someday. I promise.”
“Yeah,” I breathed out, swiftly switching topics to hide my disappointment, releasing a question that had been nagging at me for some time. “Do you ever think about your father and what happened to him after the battle?”
“I try not to,” Sebastian shot out with his next breath, though his lips formed a slight frown. “But, yeah. Sometimes. I’m sure he’s hiding out until the air clears a bit, but I dunno. I know the castle is gone, but Beaumont likely still wants him dead.”
I nodded slowly. As much as I despised Aldous Hawthorne, he gave me the man I loved with my entire being. And I hated to admit it, but he might actually be of some use in this whole mess.
Noting the rigidity of Sebastian’s body with the subject, I switched gears. “Do you really think we can trust Leighton? Like, do you think we're making the right move by sending her to Draemor alone?”
“Sometimes you have to take risks. But yeah, I do think we can trust Leighton. I know Venay proved to be less than honorable, but I believe that when she tested the integrity of others, that she knew what she was doing.”
“Ah. Yes. Five hundred people.”
His jaw tightened. “You remembered that.” He said it as a fact, not a question.
“I try my best to remember every little detail about you.”
Something between a groan and an exhale pooled from his throat.
“You don’t have to tell me about it—it doesn’t matter. I just worry about you. That's a lot of people, Seb. And what you went through in Draemor…I justworry.”
“Well, when you start killing as a child, it adds up fast.” He shrugged as if it didn’t even matter. “You have nothing to worry about. I’m perfectly fine.”
“You said that you dreamed about Draemor every night,” I pointed out, recalling what he had said that night under the stars.
“I do.”
“What do you dream about?” My eyes narrowed on him. We had never really talked about what happened to him in Draemor—he hadn't wanted to. But if I knew anything about Seb, it was that he was a master at harboring his feelings.
His mouth didn’t budge.
My fingertips explored his jaw, gently dragging his eyes into mine. “What happened to you there? What did Beaumont do to you?” My voice pinched out.
Hanging his head, his wet hair shook. “You don’t want to know, love. Truly.”
“Yes, Seb. I do. I want to know so I can support you the best I can. I don’t know if you know this, but you yell in your sleep now.Loud. And your body will thrash sometimes, like you're trying to break away from something or…someone. You never used to do that.”
His jaw ticked. “I’m fine, Maeve. It will pass like every other traumatic event I've lived through.”
“Love…” I used the pet name he always used for me, and something in his expression broke down, as if he finally allowed himself to feel what he’d been tucking away.
“I don’t want to talk about it, because if I talk about it—” He backed away slightly, turning his face from me. “I don’t want to cry in front of you.”
“Seb,” I said his name as an airy whisper of sadness. Every organ in my body screamed in pure devastation as I scooted over on the bed, closer to him. “I’ve seen you cry.”
“Yeah, and I hated it.”
