The discovery leveled me. This symbol had been on everything at the prison; our uniforms, our paperwork, all over the walls. It was the school’s most common insignia.
I shook my head in disbelief. It’d been under our noses this entire time. “I had no idea that sigil dated back before the prison became a reform school. The school must’ve adopted it as their own once they acquired the buildings.”
Marcus snatched up the records and looked them over. “These measurements match the coat-of-arms carved above the front doors of the Institute. Yuto must’ve built it himself when the first cellblock was being constructed. It was a clue he left behind for Amalie!”
“Then we have to go back there,” Kallie said. “I’ll bet anything that sigil will lead us to our next clue.”
“The Institute was destroyed, though,” Marcus pointed out. “Will there be anything left to find?”
A shiver traveled down my spine. I’d thought we’d seen the last of Darke Institute for Supernatural Offenders when it burnt to the ground. I could still hear the screams of the dying and the clang of chains from Cellblock 9. I’d sworn the Warden would kill us all before we ever stepped foot back on those grounds, but we always ended up back there. It seemed the Institute wasn’t done with us yet.
I refused to let it finish us.
I pulled my shoulders back. “I guess we’re going to find out. Kallie, we’re going to need another portal.”
“Back to the Institute?” she asked with a wary breath.
I gave a firm nod. “Back to the Institute.”
Chapter Twelve
AVA-MARIE
I was stuck on that beach long after my friends had left me. My heart had been broken all over again, but this time, the pain was fresh, because it was accompanied by the wish of a dream.
Some part of me still lived inside of Charlie. He hadn’t gotten rid of all of me— just most. He wouldn’t have been able to put that hole in my shield if a small spark of me didn’t live within him. It whispered to me there was a possibility of working things out. The spark indicated the breath of an asinine wish that he still loved me, so we could find a way through this.
I reminded myself of the divorce papers waiting in the drawer, and turned away from the water. I had to stop torturing myself with what ifs. Charlie and I were done. He was my ex-husband now, and I?—
The thought of that sudden, wretched word nearly caused me to retch. Ex… husband.
I hated it. Detested every syllable, wanted nothing more than to rip it out of my head and scrub my brain of the contents. I’d come to terms with the divorce, but I’d been thinking of it in a big-picture kind of way, instead of considering all the little details that went along with a loss this significant.
I still thought of him as my spouse. Obviously.
I needed to let Charlie go. If not for me, then for him. It would be wrong for me to keep jerking his feelings around, and we both needed a clean break. We couldn’t grieve the end of this marriage if both of us were still trying to keep it alive. We kept insisting on putting our relationship on life support when it had died a long time ago and there was no bringing it back.
It would all be over with after today. Once Charlie got the last key and opened the Elven Gate, this war would be won. We’d ask the gods to kill the Warden, then, once he was in the ground, I could run away. I’d never have to see Charlie or anything that reminded me of him ever again.
Not Ilamanthe.
Not my friends.
Not even my family.
Not … Oberi. Though I’d rather sink into the sea, I had to leave him behind, too. I’d come up with the idea to leave after Charlie and I had slept together. If I stuck around, I’d just keep running back to him. I’d keep falling into his bed, wanting one more conversation, one more kiss, one more night of him inside of me.
It would never end. He wasn’t strong enough to end us for good, so if I let this go on, it would continue forever. I’d never get away, and I wasn’t sure how I could look at myself in the mirror once I’d admitted to myself I’d allowed Charlie to break me.
Leaving was the only choice. It was what I was planning and what I’d chosen. This war would be done, then I’d start over. And although my existence without my friends and my love would be excruciating, becoming a hermit would be a better fate than longing to be with a man I could never have. I wouldn’t return to the arms of a husband who’d hurt me in such a deep way. My self-respect meant more than that. Once the war was handled, it was time to disappear.
I hoped no one would come looking for me once I was gone. I wasn’t magical anymore, so I didn’t belong in the supernatural world. I had to leave it behind in search of a new life. There was nothing more for me here.
I worried about my friends, knowing they were across the globe and I had no way to help them. Would they be able to handle getting the last key and opening the Elven Gate without me?
Probably not, a voice inside said, though I don’t know where it came from. It wasn’t like I could cast magic anymore, as my latest failed attempt had proven. If I couldn’t use my powers to help, because they no longer existed, I’d just get in the way. It was best if I stayed behind.
I returned to the road near the beach, where Eldin was waiting with a military van. She’d followed my orders to be here at the right time without question. She drove me back to the palace and helped me sneak into the back of the theater undetected.
