There was silence for a moment, until Ava said, “Charlie has to do it.”
“Me?” I startled backward.
“There has to be enough of me inside of you that the shield will respond to. Perhaps I left something of myself behind when the bond broke,” Ava pleaded. “The two parts of our souls were connected, but it was still only one soul. The shield might resonate with your spirit, because it was once mine. You have to at least try.”
I agree with her, Oberi noted. There might be enough of Ava left inside of you that you can use to get through the shield. It’s the only chance we have.
I didn’t think there was. When our bond was broken, I figured any tie I had left to Ava had been completely destroyed. She’d been separated from me, permanently severed from my soul. I was certain the shield wouldn’t respond to anything I tried to do.
But we had no other options. I came close to the shield, feeling its infinite power. I reached out to brace my hand against it and met a strong surge of magical energy, one that would’ve blown me backward if I didn’t stand my ground.
Find Ava. Oberi was certain she was still inside of me, somewhere. That piece of her that lived within me might be gone, but maybe I’d still left some pieces behind. I dove deep, searching for a broken part of her that might still be left.
This was a struggle, and incredibly painful. Everywhere I looked, there was only a void. I’d completely ripped every part of her out of me and torn it to shreds with the breaking of our bond. Places she’d flourished inside of my spirit were nothing but hollowed out shells, caverns of emptiness with no bottom, no light.
I had to go deeper. I reached down to the most submerged parts of my spirit, searching for Ava’s soul there and telling myself I wasn’t really alone… that what I’d done wasn’t the end of us.
Imagine my surprise when I found it.
It was the smallest spark. Only a little flame, an ember frailly burning. But the smallest piece of Ava had been stronger than whole armies, and I only needed a little bit to get us through. I nearly cried when I summoned the small bit of her spirit— it was so familiar, the most genuine and vulnerable part of her. It was a piece of intimacy she’d entrusted to me that I had betrayed in the worst way. I didn’t realize I’d felt it when we were making love, but the feeling was unmistakable.
This was what I’d been missing, but it had been there all along. It had been Ava’s gift to me, her husband. This piece represented her trust, her loyalty, her faith that I would always do right by her. This was the part of Ava that had seen me as her knight in shining armor, her Prince Charming, the piece that had innocently assumed I would always come in to save the day no matter what monsters she had to face.
And I had destroyed it. Even if she had her soul, she wouldn’t be able to take this piece back even if she wanted to. Because she didn’t believe in it anymore. That innocence was gone. The only reason it still lived was because I couldn’t let it go.
“Did you get it?” Ava whispered. She couldn’t feel anything I was doing right now, when before, she would’ve been able to participate in this beautiful moment with me, feel everything I was feeling right alongside me.
Now she was on the outskirts. It was cruel, and it was wrong. I wished I could give this piece back to her… because that’s what she deserved. This wasn’t mine. I didn’t own this— she needed to take it.
But I couldn’t give it to her, because what was left of her soul was still tied to me. ‘
I couldn’t manage to speak, so instead, I acted. I cast the spell, creating a small hole in the shield. I felt the fabric of the boundary start to split, providing enough room for each of us to slip through one at a time.
“Charlie.” Ava’s voice was breathless. She hadn’t believed that a piece of her still lived within me, but it did. It was the strongest part of my soul that lived and breathed. It was the only thing I still fought for.
Told you that you aren’t done, Oberi uttered irritably. I was glad Ava couldn’t hear him.
I was on the edge of breaking down. I cleared my throat and managed to choke out, “We have a way through.”
I didn’t need a bond with Ava anymore to sense what she was feeling right then. Disbelief. Shock.
And hope. Genuine, soft-spoken hope that there was still a way forward for us. And this time, I wanted to feel it too, instead of trying to stomp it out.
Marcus and Kallie wouldn’t break the soft moment, but Danny sure would.
“Ye like Ava being inside you, eh, mate?” Danny said, elbowing me. “I took you for a top, not a bottom.”
“Your head’s going to be inside your ass if you keep talking.” His statement pissed me off, but honestly, I was glad for it. If he hadn’t annoyed me I’d have started crying, and we couldn’t have that now.
“There’s no time for you two to dick around! You can continue the pillow talk later,” Kallie snapped, ushering us through.
Marcus, Danny, Kallie and I stepped onto a rock just past the edge of the shield. Our animal companions followed, but there was hardly enough room for us all. Ocean waves crashed into shore, spraying cold water at our feet. Rishi hissed and scrambled backward into me. I had to hold on to Marcus and Kallie to keep from falling into the water.
“We’ll see you once the Elven Gate is open,” Kallie told Ava.
“Please don’t fuck it up,” Ava begged.
“Try not to, lass, but no promises. Fucking things is a talent of ours,” Danny replied cheerfully.
