The only thing that would feel worse was giving up completely, but I hadn’t yet. I stubbornly held on to some semblance of hope for one reason or another. Why I was unsure. Perhaps I was stupid, and didn’t know when to quit. What a moron I was.
“That’s not true. You’ll fight until you can’t anymore, then you catch your breath and go back out there again until it kills you. Even when you’re dead, you still get back up and say you’re not done. I know, because I’ve seen you do it time and again.”
“I’ve done nothing but sit here and sip mocktails for days! I think it’s pretty clear I’m over it.”
“Taking a break doesn’t mean you’re broken,” Kallie said. “You’re not useless because your magic’s gone. If anything, that just gives you more reason to fight back, and nobody fights like Ava when she’s pissed. You’re taking some time to get your head on straight, but eventually, you’re gonna get fed up with your own bullshit. You take your sweet time making up your mind, but when you decide on something, that’s when the real magic happens. And once you do, everyone else better watch out.”
She slipped her sunglasses over her eyes. “I’ll be waiting for the moment you’re ready to cause pandemonium again. Because we’re best friends, and together, we’re here to fuck shit up.”
I lifted my chin out of my hand. “And Charlie?”
She shrugged. “Fuck him. He gave you this opportunity to play with power by marrying him. Use it to your benefit.”
Her words struck me. Marriage didn’t have to be for love. People married for all kinds of reasons— royals, particularly, for strategy and power.
Men played games of power all the time. Why couldn’t women play them, too? Charlie had gambled and lost, but maybe I could place a bet, and come out on top this time.
I didn’t want to be married to him. But I was, and if those papers were still unsigned… maybe it was time to utilize that as an opportunity.
I waited until Kallie left so I could sneak off to get the hockey tickets unnoticed. It wasn’t hard. All I had to do was call a few servants and have them get everything arranged for me. I didn’t have anything to do the rest of the day, but I was tired of sitting around in the Ladies’ Court, so I risked leaving them so I could speak to Ez.
I hadn’t seen my brother much since I’d lost my magic. As much as I didn’t want to, I’d risk running into Charlie so I could spend some time with my brother.
I knocked on his apartment door, not sure if he’d be there, but my dark heart lightened when Ez opened the door. A massive smile beamed upon his gentle face. “Hey, sis! Where have you been?”
He reached out to hug me, squeezing me against his broad chest. Guilt overcame me as I hugged him back. Ez was such a sweetheart. He didn’t deserve the silent treatment from me because I couldn’t deal with my issues. “Not anywhere, really. Do you mind if we hang out?”
“Of course I don’t! I’ve been waiting for you to come around.” He stepped aside, and I wheeled into his quarters. He immediately went to pick up all the toys that were scattered around the floor so I could move around. “Sorry. Marina throws her stuff everywhere. The whole house is basically her play place.”
“How is it, living together?” Besides the toys, Ez’s medical books were stacked on every surface, and Opal’s crafts laid scattered across the table. Their home was a perfect picture of young family life, full of colors, clutter, and light.
A picture of a family that Charlie and I might’ve had, if we hadn’t decided to destroy each other along the way. Something within me hollowed.
“Aw, man, it’s awesome. Marina’s the coolest kid there ever was. We have a lot of fun together. I can barely keep up.”
“Did you give Opal the ring yet?” Proposals were going around, and here I was, getting divorced.
Ez’s smile faded. “No. I wanted to ask her on her birthday, but that was before everything… happened. I keep waiting for things to get better, but they never do. This war keeps dragging on, and med school isn’t getting any easier. I’m tired of putting it off.”
“So don’t any longer. Fuck the Warden, fuck school, and ask,” I suggested.
Ez nodded. “You’re right. Whatever is going on in our lives, we can handle. It’s time for us to get married.”
“Thank the ancestors. I’m tired of waiting for you two to tie the knot.”
“We should get a move on. Opal wants more kids, and she doesn’t want Marina to get too much older before we give her siblings. There’s already going to be an age gap.”
“You two are gonna get pregnant, then you’re gonna have to hurry up and get married, because you won’t have a choice.” I laughed.
“Not everybody wants a shotgun wedding thrown together on the same day you decide to get married,” Ez teased.
I snorted. “Hey, at least I wasn’t pregnant when I got married, either time. Can’t say a baby made us rush to the altar. I married Charlie on the spot because I was nuts, clearly.”
“I mean, technically you waited for marriage,” Ez pointed out. “You guys didn’t go all the way until after you were already hitched.”
I blinked. “Holy shit, you’re right. Where did my wild child genes go wrong there, that I remained chaste until after holy matrimony?”
“I personally think it’s sweet you guys saved your first time for your wedding night,” Ez said, all too wholesomely.
