The answer came when Charlie entered. He heard my voice and stiffened. “I’m sorry. I can come back?—”
“Don’t leave,” I said. “I’m just practicing archery. The arena’s big enough for the two of us.” Please let that be true.
“I just wanted a quiet place to think. The hospital’s really loud today, and Casey needs to rest.” He crossed his arms.
“How’s he doing?” I questioned, wondering why I was asking.
“Great. He’s gotten a lot bigger.” There was no accusation or resentment in Charlie’s tone. He didn’t blame me for not being around for Casey.
I blamed myself. I’d abandoned him.
I pushed Casey out of my mind, because I couldn’t stand to think about him lying alone in that incubator all by himself, and went to nock another arrow.
“You’re really invested in archery,” Charlie said, coming closer. Not close enough for us to touch, but certainly closer than we’d been since I’d given birth.
“I’m trying to find a way to fight,” I offered. “This is the one way I know how.”
“You’re not safe if you’re in a fight. You should stay out of whatever happens,” Charlie said.
“But I don’t want to sit back and stay out of it. I want to do everything I can to help the people I care about.” I blew out a breath. “Besides. I don’t want to be a sitting duck when the Warden comes for me. Might as well learn how to do something, even if it doesn’t work.”
Charlie let my words settle into him before he offered, “I can teach you.”
“Huh?” My head jerked to the side. “Teach me what?”
“How to fight.”
I stared, then gave a small laugh. “I’m not going to be winning boxing matches anytime soon.”
“Basic self-defense is good for everybody to learn. I can at least teach you that much.”
The moment was crystallized as I carefully said, “You don’t have to do that.”
Charlie shook his head. “I took away your ability to defend yourself, so I should help you get back that ability in whatever way I can. You deserve to feel safe at all times.”
I didn’t know what my dad had told Charlie when he’d been climbing that mountain, but I felt he’d come back a changed man. Did my dad rough him up or something? Or did something big happen to change his point of view?
“Um… okay.” I felt the stupid, dead butterflies in my gut begin to flutter again, lightly lifting their wings. “We can try.”
The door to the arena opened again, and Chancey stood awkwardly in the gap. “Oh, shit. You two are here.”
“That’s a greeting,” I teased, though I wasn’t sure if I should. Very few of our friends… or, former friends… were on great terms with either of us.
“I didn’t mean it like that. I just came by to lift some weights.” Chancey wandered over, though cautiously. “Whatcha working on?”
“Charlie wants to teach me self-defense,” I offered, though it sounded ridiculous to say out loud.
“Just the basics. Only what I think she can reasonably do,” Charlie explained. “I want to adjust the techniques so they can accommodate her. Though it might be a bit of a challenge.”
“If you’re teaching her how to fight, I want in,” Chancey offered. “You’re gonna need help adjusting things to suit her.”
“You sure?” The edge of hope in Charlie’s voice was heartbreaking to hear. He’d missed Chancey, too— terribly.
“Yeah, man. I ain’t doing anything important.” Chancey gave a grimace Charlie wouldn’t see, though his eyes watered.
I was pretty sure this was the first time they’d spent time together since everything had happened. Charlie and I weren’t the only ones who were making progress.
“But how can I defend myself if everyone is stronger than me, and I can’t walk on top of it?” I asked. “It’s not like I can win in a fist fight. I’m physically weaker and smaller than most people.”
