“Ava, watch it,” Liam warned, dropping his voice.
“She’s not going to listen to you, so why bother?” I spat. “All she cares about is her own comfort!”
“It’s not my comfort I’m worried about,” Ava hissed. “You’re the one who can’t get out of the little box he’s created in his head to fix things between us!”
“Bullshit! Marcus told me you wanted him and Kallie to take our kid. Why are you having open auditions to place him with the highest bidder behind my back?”
“That wasn’t what I was doing,” Ava said nastily. “I want what’s best for him, not what’s going to make us feel good!”
“You just want to give him problems, so you can run away from responsibility and commitment like you always do. You didn’t want to marry me, either, and now you’re throwing our baby away like you threw away our marriage. What, you want Casey to be kicked from home to home all his life, reminding him that he’s not wanted every time he has to leave?”
Maybe what I was saying was unfair, but I couldn’t help but say exactly what was on my mind. Tears stung at the corners of my eyes as I struggled to hold them back, but I was so fucking furious. I would not let my son grow up the way I had. I’d rather die first.
“Let’s talk about this,” Sophia pleaded. “No one wants to take Casey away from you, but I think we can all agree that you two aren’t ready to raise a child, especially if you intend to co-parent. Liam and I are here to help until you’re ready, and you won’t be until the two of you can fix your problems and work together.”
I was certain the last thing either of us wanted to do was co-parent. Ava wanted to rip the last of my family away from me, because she wanted for me to suffer the rest of my days. She hated me. I just knew deep down she had to blame me for being unable to bond with him.
I sympathized with her; I couldn’t imagine how insanely painful it was to be unable to feel anything for Casey. I’d fallen in love with him the moment he’d come into my life, and she felt nothing for him. I knew, because Marcus had let that slip in his confession, too. It had to tear her up inside, and be completely unbearable. I never wanted such an awful thing to happen to the woman I’d loved more than anything and anyone. I’d be grieving for her if she wasn’t trying to give Casey away.
But she was, and it was because she wanted to get back at me. In her mind, if she couldn’t have Casey, then I didn’t deserve him, either.
I crossed my arms, wishing to hear the truth from her own damn mouth. “I want to know what Ava thinks, not everybody else.”
Ava hesitated. “I just want what’s best for Casey.” There was no malice in her voice. In fact, she sounded… shocked. “I didn’t think you’d fight so hard for him.”
“I told you I’d take him,” I reminded her.
“I figured you were just doing what you thought you had to do. I didn’t think you actually wanted this, and raising him out of obligation is only going to fuck him up. My parents will do a better job raising him than we can. It’s the right move to make.”
“Your parents will be wonderful grandparents, but that doesn’t mean we should give up on raising him ourselves,” I insisted. “Casey needs a parent there for him, and I want to be there every step of the way. I don’t know how to be a dad yet, but I’m going to learn.”
“Being a parent is more complicated than mixing formula and changing diapers,” Ava said harshly. “What about when he gets older and needs your emotional support? Where will you be then?”
“I’ll be there holding him,” I demanded. “What do you think I’m going to do, run away the first time he sheds a tear?”
“Yes, Charlie, because that’s what you do!” Ava cried. “When things get uncomfortable, you shut down and leave!”
“You don’t think I’ll be a good dad, then,” I accused.
“How can I? You’re not a good husband!”
It was as if she’d struck me. That arrow she’d shot at my head might as well have pierced straight through my heart. “That’s low, Ava. Really fucking low.”
“It’s true,” she bit back. “I don’t believe you’ll be a good parent unless you’re a good spouse, because a broken marriage is only going to damage this kid further. I asked my parents to be his caregivers, because that will be easier on him than watching us fight all the time!”
My hands curled at my sides. “You don’t want anything to do with him, so you won’t even be around to fight with, which is fine by me! But you aren’t taking him away from me!”
Liam had seen enough. He threw himself between us, his voice booming. “That’s it! Sophia and I were going to stay out of this, but ancestors help me, you two need some serious help. Ava’s at her limit, and so am I! I’m sick of listening to your arguing. For fuck’s sake, it’s like you two enjoy pissing each other off, and I’m sick of this game! Both of you need to get your shit together, because I’m too old for this crap. I’m done raising kids, and I’m not taking another one. So you’re going to sit your asses down and work out your marriage, because Casey needs a parent one way or another, and it’s not going to be me!”
“Daddy, a baby isn’t going to save our marriage,” Ava argued.
“Then save it for yourselves,” Liam urged. “You were honest with me a few minutes ago, Ava, so be honest now. I’ll ask you again; what do you really want?”
Ava hesitated, and her tone softened. “What I want is irrelevant. If Charlie and I are going to fix anything, it has to be for us, because if we tried for any other reason, nothing would get fixed and Casey would be affected.”
The smallest of cracks began to appear in my stone-cold exterior. Was Ava actually suggesting… there might be hope?
No. She couldn’t be. She’d made it clear to me this marriage was done for. We weren’t going to be a happy family at the end of the day, no matter how badly I wanted us to be one.
