And he’d done it without question. Like he always did. He always fulfilled whatever request I asked him to do. He’d been really helpful during labor. He’d jumped in and done what needed to be done, whenever I needed it.
Maybe Charlie had been waiting on me all along.
“I don’t care. It doesn’t justify his actions,” I argued. “He tried to lock me up, so how can you say that he wants me to be dominant over him? That’s totally illogical.”
“I get that, and what he did was wrong, but you gave him that control and told him that he could make all the decisions, so in a round-about way, he probably thought he was doing what you wanted,” Kallie said. “You told him to make decisions for you when you couldn’t, so in his mind, he was following your commands the best he could. He’s trying to take things off your shoulders and make your bipolar easier on you, so he’s taken on this dom role. But he’s not actually the one in charge, you are, because you have all the power, and you haven’t been wielding it since we left school.”
Kallie shook her head. “It can’t work that way for the two of you— look what happened when you tried. When Charlie tried to take on this dom role, it literally fucked up the world. Charlie might be next in line to be king, but this isn’t a kingdom. You’re queen, and as far as you and Charlie are concerned, this world is your queendom.”
I considered her words, and with a sinking feeling, knew that she was right. I hadn’t kept Charlie in check. I’d let him run wild and do whatever, because I hadn’t wanted the responsibility of keeping him in line.
“Looks like I haven’t been wielding as much authority as I should be,” I admitted begrudgingly.
“I’m not saying it’s your fault he made those fucked up choices, because it’s not, but you basically gave him permission to have free reign,” Kallie pointed out. “And what does a sub do when they don’t have any guidance?”
“They… lose it.” This put his betrayal in perspective. I didn’t think I could forgive Charlie for what he’d done… until I realized I had to forgive myself first, because I was the one who’d enabled him to have so much control.
I shook my head. “This is some really deep psychological shit.”
“And it’s probably all subconscious, too. Subs need a dom. If you’re not directing him on how to make you happy, he’s lost. Charlie can handle the heavy lifting and get shit done, but not unless you tell him what to do.”
“If I tell him to win me back, it doesn't count, because I’m the one putting in the emotional effort. Shouldn’t I be able to drop clues to make him get the point? I've been hinting to him that if he wants us back together, he needs to put more effort in!”
“Men are different than us. We have to be direct,” Kallie insisted. “Women communicate through subtlety, but men typically don’t.”
“I’m not following.”
She sighed. “Watch this. Marcus, come here!”
He came scrambling in from the other room almost immediately. “Yes, my pretty girl?”
“If I was to grab your dick, right now, would you think I wanted sex?” Kallie asked.
Marcus gaped. “With Ava here? I mean, that seems a little weird.”
“Hypothetically,” Kallie clarified. “If I did that randomly, would you take that as an invitation to jump into bed?”
Marcus seemed baffled by the question. “I mean… if you just grabbed it out of nowhere, I’d figure you wanted to hold it or something. Touching doesn’t mean you want to go all the way. Just because you want it in your hands doesn’t mean you want it in you.”
“So initiating touch wouldn’t be enough to tell you that I’m interested, even though we’re in a committed, long-term relationship?” Kallie asked.
Marcus shook his head. “No. I need direct communication. I don’t understand the games girls play. If you want my dick, why don’t you just say so?”
My jaw nearly hit the floor. Was he kidding?
“This doesn’t make any sense!” I argued. “Her touching you is the same thing as her asking directly!”
“No, that’s different, because then I have to think about it,” Marcus said. “If she’s asking can we mess around, then I have to consider if she’s actually in the mood, if she really wants me, what kind of stuff she wants to do, if I’m going to get it right, if I’m going to last long enough to make her satisfied… it makes it too complicated. I get stuck in my own head, which makes me not in the mood. It kills the vibe. But if she just tells me, I want to have sex with you, that’s a clear indication of what I should do, and it’s straightforward. I know I can easily fuck her, and I don’t have to think about it too hard, so I can just do it and make Kallie happy. And if I don’t want to, I can just say no, and it’s fine.”
“Is this really how guys think?” I wondered aloud.
Marcus spun in place. “Most men don’t like subtext. We can’t read between the lines. We can barely color inside them to begin with.”
“Great. That answers our question,” Kallie said. “I want a smoothie. Can you get me one?”
“Right away!” Marcus romped out of the room.
Kallie gestured toward the door he’d gone out of. “See? He’s happy! It’s what they need!”
