Seven days passedafter Cassiel died in a monochrome, tasteless blur.
The entire city was in mourning. Ilamanthe had once been vibrant and full of life, but now the palace was quiet, and everyone dressed in black. People walked with their gazes toward the ground, heads bowed. There were so many whispers infecting the palace I often wondered if the voices were coming from around me, or were merely the ones echoing inside my head. Everyone in the city had loved Cassiel and adored him as a ruler. Now that he was gone, there was nothing left but grief.
And fear. People were so terrified. I could feel it every time they walked by. Just being in the presence of others caused my heartbeat to quicken in terror. I heard what people said. How were we going to defeat the Warden when Cassiel, the most powerful Emperor that had ever lived, had done everything he could to kill him and failed?
I didn’t know. All I knew was that it was onmyshoulders to take his life. If no one else had the ability to kill the Warden, I would. I just had to figure out how.
The shield remained untouched, and neither The Mission nor the Warden showed up to try and break it. It confirmed, for me, that my power was enough to hold the Warden off, at least for now. If he thought he could get past my defenses, he would’vealready tried. My shield would buy us some time to come up with a plan to put him in the ground for good.
The Beast appeared to me frequently now. He didn’t say anything, just stood in the corner of the room and stared at me. I stared back, my thoughts lingering on the pointlessness of it all, wondering where any of this was going or why it mattered.
Cassiel’s funeral would be in a few days, as Elvish tradition dictated that a mourning period of nine days had to be held before the ceremony took place on the tenth. After the funeral, Cameron would be crowned Emperor. Things would move on, but they’d never be right again.
Charlie stayed in his quarters and didn’t come out. He refused the food the servants brought him and locked himself away in our bedroom for a week straight. I laid beside him at night, but that was the extent of our contact. He hadn’t said a word to me since we’d come back from the camps. Just turned his back to me and pretended I wasn’t there.
I knew he was grieving terribly. I couldn’t imagine the deep, bottomless loss he felt. His grandfather, the only person who’d ever been a parent to him in the entire world, was gone. His grief devoured him, changing him into someone I couldn’t recognize, nor reach.
I wondered if he blamed me. It’d been my idea to go to the camps, after all. I wanted to apologize and beg for his forgiveness, yet I was petrified at the thought of giving him more pain, so I said nothing.
Our friends weren’t around. Like Charlie, everyone stayed in their rooms and kept to themselves, though the others had all coupled off. Chancey and Ivy, Ez and Opal, Eddie and Alistair… they leaned on each other. Since we’d been married, I didn’t think Charlie and I had ever felt more apart.
Kallie and Marcus came by to talk here and there, but I told them Charlie wasn’t ready and sent them off. Kallie didn’t needto deal with this, not after what she’d been through with the Dollmaker, and Marcus needed to focus on taking care of her. I’d done enough damage trying to fix the unfixable. Repairing Charlie’s broken spirit was my job, and no one else’s.
Me? I was depressed as fuck, though I did my best to hide it from everyone, especially Charlie. Nobody else needed to be brought down due to how I felt… if we could sink any lower… but when I was alone, I completely crumbled into pieces.
Oberi was the only one who got me. He stayed by my side and wagged his tail, trying to cheer me up.
It’s not your fault, dearest,Oberi insisted, laying his head on my lap as we hid in a parlor room that was far away from Charlie’s quarters. It was late afternoon, and I’d come here to break down. I didn’t want anyone to see or hear me doing it, so I’d taken off. This wasn’t about me; I needed to be strong for everyone right now.
It is my fault.I stroked Oberi’s ears as tears leaked down my cheeks.If I had taken a second to think, Cassiel would still be alive.
Charlie doesn’t blame you in any way for his grandfather’s passing. I can tell,Oberi promised.Neither his thoughts nor his heart lay guilt upon you. You were trying to help people. The only one to despise for this atrocious act is the Warden.
Even if Charlie didn’t blame me, I wasn’t sure if it mattered. Because I blamed myself.
After my tears slowed, I left the parlor room and took an elevator to the dungeons below the castle. The agony in my heart turned to rage when I saw Abigail in a cell against the far wall, exactly where I’d put her. She sat on the floor, looking sad and alone.
I hadn’t seen her since we’d left for the camps, and you know what? I didn’t want to.
If I wasn’t going to blame myself for Cassiel’s passing, then I blamed Abigail. Someone had told Cassiel that we’d gone to the camps, and I’d already confronted Eldin about it. She’d followed my orders and kept her mouth shut. Abigail was under no obligation to do the same, not the way Eddie had to follow Charlie’s orders. Abigail had run off and told the Emperor we’d left the palace, and it was because ofherthat he’d followed us to the Main Facility.
The Warden had been right. Having a good heart had been my downfall, because I trusted others to think the same way I did. I believed Abigail to be good, despite her family ties to the Warden, but she’d sent Cassiel after us on purpose to get him killed. She was the spy in the palace. I’d been a fool to think it couldn’t be her, because it was so fuckingobvious. The only reason I hadn’t sent her to the gallows yet was because I wanted to find out what else she knew about the Taurus family. I’d get answers out of her; it would only take some time.
Except my patience was starting to run out.
“Why are you here?” Abigail rasped. “You’ve thrown me down here without an answer, leaving me for days, and now you come to visit?”
“You deserve to be imprisoned for betraying my trust,” I growled.
“Let me explain,” Abigail offered weakly.
“I don’t need your explanations. The Emperor is dead. You’ve done enough.”
“I beg you to hear me,” Abigail pleaded. “I never meant to cause harm, only to protect you, as is my purpose.”
“Fuck you. You were supposed to be my lady, but you went against my orders. The second my back was turned, you went running to Cassiel to tell him what we were doing. You’re the reason he ended up at those camps, and you’re the reason he’s dead now.”
“I’m not bound to you like Eddie is to Charlie, princess. We do not share a bond, so I am not magically obliged to follow your orders. I have to do what’s best for the good of my people,” Abigail insisted.
