“Watch it, sweetheart,” Kallie grunted in a masculine voice. She’d made me sound like a fucking caveman. I wasn’tthatbroody. “What do you think you’re doing in a rough part of town like this?”
“Oh, just fucking off, as usual!” Marcus chirped, and the audience laughed. Ancestors, his female voice washorrible. It was obnoxious and totally overdone. I grinned at how good he was at it.
“I didn’t mean to bump into you— except, I totally did, because I use my bad boy persona to act tough when I don’t have to,” Kallie grumbled. “What’s your name?”
Marcus giggled like a little schoolgirl. “My name’s Pigeon! I’m called that because my brain is the size of one, at least when it comes to men!”
Ava let out a spewing laugh, slamming her hand against the table. I was glad she was having fun.
“Pigeon? I’m going to call you pidge,” Kallie replied. “That’s a nice name for a pretty girl.”
“Am I a pretty girl?” Marcus squeaked, and the crowd roared.
“The prettiest I’ve ever seen. I’m Charlie. Now do what I tell you to and run along. This part is important, because you’re going to be doing a lot of that in the future.”
“Okay!” Marcus peeped, then he sighed dramatically as he flounced away. “Oh, my. That man wassogorgeous. He’s like a world tour… for my vagina!”
Ava bust a gut laughing, then quickly added under her breath, “I told Kallie that inconfidence!”
I smirked. “You really thought that about me?”
“Yes, but it’s missing context, all right?” Ava said. “And you can’t tell me I was wrong.”
I beamed. “You certainly weren’t.”
The play continued. I sat back, wondering what these two would come up with next.
Marcus let out a dainty croon. “Mm… I can’t find my wallet. Perhaps I dropped it on the beach. I’ll go look!”
Marcus began skipping across the ballroom. He gasped, stumbling backward as he oversold his surprise. “What is that? Oh, it’s my Familiar! I’ve finally bonded. Her name is Oberi.”
Oberi shifted into a Fire unicorn and trotted up next to Marcus.
“You stay away from my Familiar!” Kallie shouted, coming on scene. I swore, she made me sound more stupid with every word she uttered.
“No one asked your opinion,” Marcus shot back. “Go away, you big, strong man you.”
“Now, now, children.” Ezekiel entered, using a gruff tone I could only assume was an impression of his Grandpa Elliot. His voice sounded muffled— like he was wearing a fake beard. “Let’s not get too carried away. You have both bonded to the same creature, and you have no choice but to work together. Ava, show Charlie around school and don’t get into any trouble. Don’t eventhinkabout stealing a boat and running off together.”
“Hey, my grandfather had a great idea!” Marcus said once Ezekiel exited the stage. “Perhaps we should steal a boat and run off together! It’s not like anything could go wrong!”
“That’s a grand plan!” Kallie raved.
“That isn’t how it happened,” I grumbled to Ava, while she snickered.
Our friends started clapping and stomping their feet, mimicking the sound of a storm.
“Oh,no!” Marcus cried dramatically. “These waters are too rough. Good golly gee, I think I broke a nail!”
“I’ll show you rough,” Kallie rumbled, and I snorted.
“How dare you! I would never sleep with a brute like you— except, I totally would!” Marcus screeched.
“Lower your sails and turn back to shore!” Chancey called out. It sounded like he was speaking through a megaphone.
“Oh no!” Marcus gave a high-pitched yelp. “It’s the police! Quick, Charlie. Sail faster!”
“You’re under arrest,” Ivy practically sang in a smooth voice that made this sound more like a porno than anything. I wascertainit was intentional. Metal clinked together, and I realized they’d brought real fucking handcuffs as props.
