Chancey guffawed. “I wasn’t talking aboutthat, pal. The other ring.”
Oh. I got what he was implying. I dropped my voice. “You were right, it did make me last longer. And it’s pretty good, but if I’m being honest, it’s a bit uncomfortable. Is it always like that?”
“Nah, it gets better the more you use it,” Chancey insisted. “The first few times it’s kinda tight, but you get used to it.”
“Are you guys talking about testicles?” Alistair asked loudly, and I groaned. All attention immediately turned to us.
Chancey and Ivy knew about the cock ring, because they’d given me recommendations on which one to try, but I wasn’t about to go telling everyone else about it.
“If we are, it’s none of your business,” I said.
“Bullshit!” Alistair exclaimed. “Whatever conversation you’re having about sexy sacks, I want in!”
“Are you kidding me?” I asked.
“I’d say. Look, there’s nosexyway to describe balls,” Ivy argued.
“Sure there is! There must be!” Chancey burst in. “You got treasure chest, knapsack, coin purse, come fountain, precious jewels, tea bags, scrotagonal?—”
“What was that?” I asked.
“Scro-toe-na-gal.” Chancey enunciated the word.
“That’s a big word for you to use,” Ivy teased.
“Lay off it,” Chancey growled. “Anyhow, you got sperm shelter, jumbo junk…”
“Yeah!” Alistair eagerly agreed. “There’s crown jewels, family jewels?—”
“Hey, we ain’t talking about the Elvish family jewels. Show some respect for the Emperor,” Chancey blurted, and he smacked Alistair on the back of the head.
I gaped. “Why thehellare you guys talking about my family’s?—”
“Bean bag, dangly bits…” Chancey continued.
“Mayo sack,” Alistair grumbled.
“Ugh! What iswrongwith all of you?” I shouted.
I just wanted to enjoy my afternoon, and here all my friends were— mybuddies, for shit’s sake, not even the girls— carrying on about Nutsack Gate.
“Ooh, ooh, I’ve got one!” Eddie gushed. “What about…”
He gave a tee-hee, like a little kid, then whispered, “Sexy droopers.”
“Wow, Eddie. Come up with that one on your own?” I asked.
“Oh, yes. Aren’t you proud?”
His tone held no sarcasm, but I wasn’t going to give him a treat for this one. “Not particularly.”
Chancey was still rambling on. “You’ve got your wrinkle berries, your brass and tacks…”
“Chancey, I’ve never met anyone so knowledgeable on all the different ways a person can describe testicles, so well done,” I stated.
“Don’t tell him that, he’ll get a big head,” Ivy said.
“Which one?” Alistair asked.
