I counted my footsteps as I left the bedroom and emerged into the main room of our apartment. “Using it for what?”
“I’m dyeing one of your old t-shirts. You don’t mind, do you?”
Ava-Marie was the only person who I let touch my things, but I didn’t like my stuff being moved. Order was the most effective way to navigate my environment, and without it, I’d have no idea where my possessions were.
“It’s an old t-shirt,” she assured me. “That one with the hole in the side? I’m going to sew up and make it look better, though.”
“All right, but how are you dyeing it?” I asked. “We’re not allowed to take supplies out of the crafts room.”
“Oh, simple!” she said chipperly. “Oberi took me down to Commissary.”
I furrowed my brow. “And…?”
“And we got a smoothie! You know, fruit makes a really good natural fabric dye.”
“You used your Commissary points to buy a smoothie so you could soak a t-shirt in my shower caddy?” It didn’t make sense to me, but this was Ava. I’d learned to roll with it.
“I’m done dyeing it. I’m just soaking it in cold water now. It should help the color set.”
I yawned. “You’ve done all that this morning? What time is it?”
“Past ten,” she said. Holy crap, I hadn’t realized I’d slept in that long. Though it’d been a hard factory shift last night. I’d come back really tired.
“I really like how the shirt’s turning out,” she said. “It’s a very pretty pink.”
I went over to the counter, where we kept bottled water. I reached for one, but my hands met nothing but air. Everything was out of place. I tried to keep my voice steady as I turned back to her. “Where’s the water?”
“I’m using it,” she said innocently. “Don’t worry. We can get more.”
“That’s not what I’m worried about,” I snapped. I didn’t mean to, and I felt bad the instant I said it. I pushed my fingers through my hair. “It’s just… this is the one place I have control over my environment, and nothing’s together this morning. You should’ve asked me before digging through my drawers and dyeing one of my shirts.”
“I thought it’d look nice,” she said.
“It’s not about the t-shirt, pidge,” I insisted. “I know how much you love fashion. I’ll let you cut up one of my t-shirts if it makes you happy. I’m bothered you didn’t put stuff back. Ineedorganization in my space.”
A beat passed before Ava said, “I was just trying to help.”
Her voice was so small. I hadn’t realized she’d been trying to help me. I thought this was one of her fashion pieces she was experimenting with.
I realized then that her parents couldn’t send us more clothes right now, because the Warden probably wasn’t allowing them to come through. She was trying to repair the shirts I had, because she knew I didn’t have much, and what I did have was worn and years old, if not falling apart. This was her way of trying to help me feel better about what I wore.
Oberi ruffled her feathers, and it suddenly occurred to me that maybe Avacouldn’tput things back in order. Organizing the top drawer of the dresser from her chair couldn’t be easy, and she must’ve had trouble bending over to close the other drawer, because it put pressure on her surgery scars.
Now I felt like an asshole.
“If it’s too much trouble, you have to tell me,” I pleaded with her.
“No, you’re right,” she said. “I should’ve accommodated you.”
I hesitated. Ava never gave in so quickly. Usually, she’d fight—tell meI was being an asshole for not consideringherlimitations. But today, she just let me win the argument. This was so unlike her.
Ava hadn’t had a problem fighting with Esther. I had felt through our bond she was ready to smash that bitch’s face in. But with me? She didn’t even try to put up a fight.
Something drastic had changed between the two of us, and that worried me to the very core. I should’ve apologized and told her I understood, but I had to be sure of what was really going on. Was she backing down because she couldn’t admit she needed help, or were things really different between us?
I cleared my throat and leaned against the counter. “I could get an infraction for manipulating my wardrobe, like you did last year.”
Ava sloshed the t-shirt around in the water. I expected her to argue, but instead she said, “You’re probably right.”
