I sighed. “I know you’re capable of anything, pidge. I don’t doubt that. But it’s not always about what youneed. I want to make things easier for you.”
“There’s not much youcando,” she replied. “Most days, I just have to focus on not throwing up. My meds make me puke. I don’t want to move too much as it is, because I don’t want to injure myself more. You’re giving me everything I need by being here with me.”
“Just let me take care of you. It’ll give me some peace of mind.”
“If you want to help, you could rub my legs,” Ava offered. “I keep getting phantom pains. The doctor says it’s because my nerves fire in a weird way that makes me think I feel something, but there’s nothing actually there.”
Finally, I could be fucking useful. I grabbed lotion from the nightstand and gently pulled the covers off. I ran the lotion up and down Ava’s legs. I found a knot in her calf muscle and focused on massaging that.
“Is this helping with the phantom pains?” I asked.
“It’s so weird.” Ava spoke curiously. “I can’t feel you massaging my leg, but my thigh seems to be relaxing where I have a little more sensation.”
I was glad it was helping. I hummed a tune while I moved my hands over her legs. I knew music always made her feel better.
“Is that my song you’re humming?” she asked.
“Is it?” I feigned. “I’ve had the melody stuck in my head all day. I can’t think of the lyrics, though.”
“Yeah. It’s my songSummer Skies.” She softly began singing along.
Clouds above my head; it’s freezing rain
I’m tired of these dark nights
The sun will come; the clouds will stray
I’ll be ready for summer skies.
I smiled as I listened to the soft sound of her voice. I didn’t think Ava realized what she was doing. This was the first time she’d sung since she’d been in the hospital. She didn’t stop, either. She kept singing, moving from one song straight into the next while I gently massaged her. I rubbed her feet, then moved up her legs, until my hands caressed past her knees and were on her thighs.
Ava giggled, interrupting her own song.
“Can you feel that?” I asked.
“A little,” she admitted. “It’s different than it was before. It feels good.”
“I’ll massage you as long as you want,” I offered.
Ava chuckled. “Charlie, it’s notthatkind of massage I like. Your hands are so close to… other places.”
“Oh.” I drew back.Oh.
“I want you to make me come,” she said. The comment was so direct and blunt it almost made me laugh.
“We can wait.” I didn’t know how I felt about all this. She was still so fragile.
“Maybeyoucan,” she teased. “I’m feeling pretty good right now.”
“I don’t want to hurt you,” I admitted.
“I’ll let you know if anything hurts,” she promised. “We’ll both go easy.”
I smirked. “And if a nurse walks in?”
Ava snickered. “That’s the fun of it, isn’t it? The thrill of potentially getting caught?”
“You and your sexual escapades.” Our time messing around in the closet was a good memory… but it was the last good memory we’d had before we’d gone down into the Underground, and we hadn't had any moments together since.
