My wife was okay. This wasn’t an illusion or a dream. The weight of her body in my arms was more real than anything I’d ever experienced.
Ancestors, it was exactly what I’d been praying to have for days. I thought I’d never get to experience a moment like this ever again. The gods had delivered just what I’d asked for.
I pressed my nose into her hair and inhaled her raspberry scent. I never wanted to let this woman go. She wasalive.I thought I’d had bad luck my whole life from all the shit I’d been through, but I realized that I’d been saving all my lucky moments for her, so we could pull through this.
Ava sucked a breath, and I stilled. “Did I hurt you?” I asked.
“No,” she assured me. “But I’m sore everywhere.”
“I’m so sorry, pidge.”
“It’s not that bad, honest.”
She was lying because she didn’t want to upset me, but I knew what kind of pain she had to be in. She had blocked off her half of our bond, so I couldn’t register her pain. She was trying to protect me in a moment where she was the breakable one. It was unfathomable.
“I love you.” My trembling fingers delicately traced her face. “I thought I’d never get to have you again.”
“I’m not going anywhere. Don’t cry, Charlie.” Ava wiped away tears from my eyes.
“I never wanted to let you go, but I thought it was the only choice—”
“I told you I’d never leave. Heaven and hell can’t keep us apart,” Ava said. “Death doesn’t mean anything when you have a love like this.”
That was the kind of thing people said in books and fairytales, but that was our reality. We had that once-in-a-lifetime kind of connection that couldn’t be transgressed by any force. “I’ve been falling apart without you.”
“You always had me. Even on the other side, I could feel you close.”
“I couldn’t feel you atall.” I nearly suffocated on the words. “It broke me. You know you’re my whole world, pidge. I didn’t see the point in anything if you weren’t here.”
“It’s all right now. We’re together again, like it should be. It’s going to stay that way.”
Ancestors, I hoped so. I couldn’t endure this a second time. It had nearly killed me the first time around.
Ava shifted against me. “Charlie… what happened?”
A lump rose to my throat. How could I begin to describe it all? The last week of my life had been like walking through ten layers of hell all at once.
But Ava had been the one to truly walk the afterlife. I had to be strong for her right now, because she needed me.
I swallowed. “You don’t remember?”
She thought about it for a moment. “The details are fuzzy. I remember we found the Infernal Underground, and then… I remember Coyote Spirit. Charlie, I think I went to the Ancestral Lands.”
I drew her closer. “You did,” I told her. “I could feel it through our bond. Your spirit left.”
“But I’m back now,” Ava said simply. “Like I promised. I missed you.”
“I thought I’d lost you for good,” I admitted. “The doctors had lost hope. I thought you chose to stay in the Ancestral Lands.”
“Never,” Ava said. “I’d always come back to you, Charlie.”
“I know you’ve promised me that before, but there are bigger things at stake here than us,” I reminded her. “I thought I was honoring your decision to die.”
“Honoring me how?” Ava sounded confused.
Ancestors, how could I have thought what I was doing was justified? Minutes ago, I thought I was doing the right thing. I’d been at peace with the decision. But now that I knew Ava had chosen to come back to me, it’d have been a terrible mistake. Guilt twisted in my gut.
“Ava, they… asked me to pull the plug,” I spat out. I hoped she didn’t hate me.
