Kallie waited for a moment, before she asked, “Do you ever think she’ll get back to the way she used to be, before she went down to the Underground?”
“Honestly? No. I don’t think so.”
I felt my heart break a little as he said that.
Kallie let out a soft breath. “That’s gotta be tough.”
“I don’t care. She’s still my girl.”
I smiled just a little. Kallie shifted from her place on the floor and said, “She was pretty torn up about what Esther said. That bitch gets to her like none other.”
“Fuck her. I’d never leave my pidge. She’s mine forever.”
I couldn’t help it; I pressed into him further. He’d think it was me shifting in my sleep, but I wanted to be even closer to him than I already was.
Kallie’s voice came closer. “Charlie… Ava’s health is still up in the air. If something happens again…”
“It won’t.”
“But if itdoes. You can’t go back to the way you were, you understand that? We all need you.”
“She needs me more than anyone.”
“Ava needs you to fulfill this prophecy if she can’t. Promise me you’re not going to go back there.”
I didn’t understand what they were talking about. This was confusing me.
Charlie moved slightly. “You wouldn’t say the same if it were Marcus.”
I dared to open my eyes again, just a little. Kallie parted Marcus’ bangs away from his eyes and said, “We have to do what’s best. For both of them.”
I envied Charlie, and immediately felt bad for doing so. He’d lost his sight at a time when he couldn’t remember it. He didn’t know what it was to live without his eyes, because he had always done so.
I could still remember walking. I recalled how it felt to jump, to run, to have the wind in my hair as I carried myself from place to place, without having to think about the million and one things I had to consider now, just to get myself where I wanted to go. Everything had happened so suddenly. When I went down into the Underground, I could walk. By the time I woke up, that ability had been taken away from me. It was more than a shock. It was an inconceivable tragedy my mind couldn’t understand.
I’d adjusted to life in a wheelchair as much as I could, but I still had a long way to go before I got to the point of acceptance.
Charlie gently shook me. “Wake up, pidge. It’s time to go.”
I barely stirred, though Kallie’s words were still echoing in my mind. They haunted my sleep and continued to plague me throughout class the next day. I wanted to ask Charlie about it, but didn’t have the courage. I wasn’t sure if he’d be straightforward with me, or spew out some emotional bullshit he didn’t mean in order to placate my feelings. Whatever Kallie had made Charlie swear to sounded serious, and I wanted to get to the bottom of it.
I took my opportunity to ask Kallie about it that evening. Charlie was on a four-hour factory shift and would be off soon, so I needed to ask quickly. She tossed a football back and forth with Chancey in the prison yard, practicing for an upcoming game. Chancey had joined the team, too, since he’d quit fight club, as he needed to get some energy out and— as he put it—knock some heads without getting into trouble.
Oberi stood at my side as a Fire unicorn. I clutched onto an alchemy textbook in my lap, trying to build up the courage for what I had to ask. Kallie jumped up to catch the ball, and I took a breath.
“Hey, Kallie…” I started, and she looked at me. “I overheard what you and Charlie were talking about last night. You said if something happened to me, Charlie couldn’t go back there… but where isthere?”
Kallie and Chancey shared a glance, like they weren’t sure what they should tell.
“She has the right to know,” Chancey said, like this had been a long time coming.
Kallie’s expression twisted before she spoke. “I didn’t want to be the one to tell you this. The night we came back from the Underground… Charlie kinda jumped off the deep end.”
“What do you mean?” I insisted.
“He went fuckingnutty, all that week,” Chancey told me. “It was a rough sight to see.”
I blinked. “Wellof coursehe was upset, but—”
