The staff didn’t leave me alone for what felt like forever. By that point, I was even more wiped out than I had been before. I wanted to see my friends, and my family, but I just didn’t have the strength. From the other side of the door, I heard Doctor Marsh tell a few people— Kallie, Marcus, Ezekiel, probably— that I needed some rest and they could visit in the morning.
I begged Charlie to lie beside me again as he dimmed the lights in the room. My eyes were nearly drooping shut. Just being in a hospital was exhausting.
“Things will get better, pidge. It’s only the first day,” Charlie told me as he crawled into the bed.
I didn’t have the capacity to respond. He snuggled up beside me, and Oberi lay at my feet.
I spent the short moments I had before sleep contemplating my recent predicament. I wasn’t sure how I was going to move forward or where I was going from here.
“I don’t want you to push yourself, okay?” Charlie asked. “Just take it easy. We’ve got time for you to recover.”
I didn’t know if that was true, with whatever the Warden was planning. But honestly, that creep was the farthest thing from my mind.
“I want to get back to a regular life.”
Charlie didn’t say anything for a moment, before he added, “That’s over now, pidge. It’s gonna be a whole new world from now on.”
“You accepted your blindness. I can accept this, too,” I said.
“I went blind when I was three. I barely remember life with sight. Being blind is all I’ve ever known,” Charlie said quietly. “You have to change your whole approach to life at twenty-one. It’s not really the same, pidge.”
My throat got tight, and tears welled in my eyes, but I refused to accept defeat as an option. This was hard— so much harder than I could imagine it being— but it didn’t mean I had to roll over and submit. Whatever lay ahead of me, I couldn’t face it like I had before.
I’d have to find a new way.
* * *
The moonlight was coming through the bars of the window when I woke up. It was dark, really dark— had to be around three in the morning.
Charlie and Oberi were still curled up against me, still as statues. Someone was sitting in a chair beside my bed. I didn’t think they allowed visitors this late at night, but there was nobody who was stopping my father from getting to me when I needed him. He must’ve just arrived.
He slowly sat up when he realized I was stirring. Even in the soft light, I saw the haggard look on his face and the deep bags under his eyes. This whole thing had aged him at least a decade overnight.
His voice was deep and brusque as he said, “Ava-Marie.”
“Huh?” I was barely awake. I was already slipping off again.
He reached out softly to take my hand. His fingers trembled as he said, “Neverdo that to me again.”
I squeezed his hand back, tightly as I could, although my grip was loose like water. I closed my eyes to drift back off to sleep. “Yes, Daddy.”
* * *
I didn’t wake up again until nearly eleven. I’d slept, but people had been coming in and out all night to check on me and run more tests. It was exhausting, and I felt violated. I knew the doctors were trying to help me, yet my privacy and sense of self had been invaded. I really hoped I got out of here sooner than ten weeks.
Charlie’s head was nestled on my shoulder, and one of his arms lay carefully across my hips. He was really tired. He had to be, if he was still sleeping. He was an earlier riser. I couldn’t imagine he’d gotten much rest over the past few days.
Oberi’s ears pricked as he stared at the closed door. Daddy’s chair was empty, but I heard his voice outside, along with Mama’s, speaking in hushed tones. I kept my eyes shut, to focus on the conversation outside.
“We have to get Ava out of here. Damn the consequences, damn the law. We’ll hide her inHok’evale. They’ll never find her there.”
“They’re not like us, Liam. You can’t rip these kids apart. It’ll kill them.”
“He’ll do whatever he has to in order to keep Ava safe. We all saw how he acted that night. He’s willing to be a true husband in every sense of the word. He’ll stay behind until we can make a plan to get him out.”
Daddy sounded like he had the utmost respect for Charlie now, which blew my mind. What exactly had gone down the night I’d died?
“She won’t get better without him. Aminaibond is a powerful thing. There’s no stronger bond in Hawkei culture than the one between two people who share a soul. Ava has to draw energy from their spirit if she’s going to recover, and that won’t happen if they’re separated. The only reason she’s still here isbecauseof him, and we don’t have the resources to help both of them escape, not with how closely the Warden is watching. We’re already under scrutiny from the Union because of the bombing.”
