“I’mmorethan angry,” I insisted. “I’m enraged. I’m furious that we lost the crown, that we allowed Droga to take over and kill all those people. We’re better than that, and yet, we allowed him to gain the upper hand. This is just as much my failure as it is yours. I failed to protect you, and protect my people. Because of it, we lost it all.”
“We’re working on making things better again,” Emma said.
I gave a harsh laugh in my throat that came out like a growl. “We can’t change the past.”
“Can’t change the past?Of coursewe can change the past,” Emma said. “We don’t have to accept what happened. In fact, we can rectify it. Continuing to feel like victims and feeling sorry for ourselves isn’t going to set things right again. The only way we can change the future is by refusing toacceptthe past. We have to shape it to our own will.”
“And what if it happens again?” I asked bitterly. “We lost the crown twice, Emma, not once. I’ve nearly convinced myself that we’re too incompetent to have it again.”
“So you become this… crazed killer just because you’re pissed off that we failed?” she asked.
“Maybe Ilikekilling!” I roared.
“Don’t take that tone with me,” she scolded. “You might think you’re some big, bad beast, but to me, you’re just a puppy dog, and we’re not leaving until we get to the bottom of this.”
“What’s there to discuss?”
“Ethan, what matters isn’t what happened, but how youthink,” Emma said forcefully. “If you assume that we don’t deserve to rule again, that everything we try will just lead to failure and let yourself be devoured by rage, then we’re never going to get anywhere. Wearegoing to lose, because you’ve convinced yourself that we can’t win.”
“And what is the alternative, because the facts are staring me in the face, and they can’t be denied,” I snapped.
“Fuck the facts. What do facts mean in our world? Nothing,” Emma stated simply. “I conjured a cabin out of my own imagination in seconds because I felt like it and I wanted to. How is that possible? And yet here we are, warm and cozy. We became king and queen against incredible odds because we decided we were going to be, and because that’s what we wanted. That’s it.”
“You make everything sound so easy.”
“It’s not easy, but it’s straightforward. What you want issimple, Ethan. The only thing getting in your own way is what’s between your ears. You’re not a victim, and neither am I. You’re not a puppet for this… rage… a slave to your emotions. If you accept that you are, we might as well be fucked. No matter how strong Droga is, he’s not more powerful than the voices inside your own head. I’d rather face the dark god than get in the ring with my own thoughts any day, but I’ve still gotta do it, because the only way to beat what’s out there is to conquer what’s inside yourself.”
I set my tail over my back leg. “You speak as if you already know.”
“I’ve learned that I’m my own worst enemy, and I’m tired of being that way,” Emma said. “I can do or have anything I want, so long as I think that I can, and I don’t stop myself from going after it. All my life, I’ve held myself back, for stupid reasons that don’t matter. What areyourreasons, Ethan? Because no matter how important they might seem, they’re just bullshit.”
“We lost Dolinska.”
“So? We’ll get it back.”
“We have so much to do, and so little time to accomplish it. The odds are truly against us.”
“You’re hung up on the details, but the details don’t matter. I truly believe it’s our destiny to rule over Malovia. I’ve known that inside since the moment the crown was placed on my head,” Emma stated. “It doesn’t matter that Gabby’s currently reigning, that Droga’s raised from the dead or that everything we love is gone. It can all be ours again, so long as we don’t lose ourselves. That’s the true danger, Ethan. Not whatever it is we have to face.”
I laid my head in her lap. “You always know just what to say.”
“Because I am you, and you are me. You’re my mate. You mirror what I feel on the inside, so I know what you need in order to overcome what you’re going through.”
She stroked my ears back, and inwardly, I felt content. Emma was right. I could control the beast inside. The monster didn’t have to take hold of me if I didn’t let it.
And I would allow it to no longer. Not just for my sake, but for Emma’s as well. I decided somehow, someway, we’d save Malovia and get the crown back.
The details didn’t matter. We’d figure it out, so long as we claimed and knew what we wanted was already ours.
“Do you really think we can be king and queen again?” I asked hopefully.
“I don’t think, Iknow. With all my heart and everything that’s in me. We have to have faith in our destiny more than we have fear of the future. It’s the only belief we need to have,” Emma replied.
“I am not afraid of anything,onawilke, so long as you are at my side.”
“I’m not afraid of anything either, Ethan. You’re here with me, so that’s all I need.”
I let out a yawn. I was very tired, and strong emotions had been coursing through me since the fight. Emma had calmed them with merely a few words. She was a miracle worker. I found myself drifting off at her touch, and resting into a peaceful sleep. I dreamed of crowns, and castles, and happier times.
