“Because that’s not what you would decide. It’s not what you want for yourself,” Ethan said. “You’ve told me time and again that you can live with this disease. That it doesn’t define who you are.”
“Well, I can’t live with it anymore!” I shouted. “If I can’t get better, I want it to be over with! I’m no use to anyone this way!”
“I don’t need you to be useful to me. I need you to love me,and that means you need to stop this,” Ethan pleaded. “What will happen if you use that blade on your spirit here, in the astral realm, and your body remains on Earth? It could be cataclysmic.”
“Then I’ll take the dagger back to Earth and use it there,” I said firmly.
“No, you won’t,” Ethan said, and he crouched down as he prowled forward. “We’ll find another way.”
“There is no other way,” I said weakly. But already, my resolve was failing. I couldn’t do this while Ethan watched. The dagger slipped out of my hand and clattered onto the floor as I let my arm drop. I sank to my knees, and Ethan rushed forward to catch me.
I wasn’t sure if there’d ever be a cure, or a way out of this pain. I couldn’t resist it, fight it, or end it.
All I could do was find a way to endure it.
Losing all hope, I collapsed into Ethan and wept.
Chapter Three
Ethan
“Emma, you can’t go.”
We were preparing to set off for Darragh College. I planned to take a small group with me, in order to locate the archives and find the document that would unveil the ceremony Emma needed to perform in order to unite the Crystals.
My wife was insistent upon coming, even though she could barely stand.
“This is my duty. I refuse to let you go alone.” She stood from our bed, but wobbled as she fell back upon it. I could see the semblance of pain written across her features.
“How do you expect to help us search when you’re too weak to travel across the room, let alone through a portal to another part of the country?” I crossed my arms. “I understand your pride, but it needs to be set aside.”
She sighed and gave in. “You’re right. I’ll just slow you up.”
“It won’t always be that way,” I said. “Stay here and keep recovering your strength. Once we have the documents, we’ll return here immediately.”
“It shouldn’t take long,” Emma mumbled under her breath. “Arthur will be able to find them quickly.”
I immediately balked. “I can’t take Arthur. We don’t know if we can trust him.”
More appropriately, I wasn’t sure we could trust Vara.
But Emma gave me a glare. “You’re going to need Arthur’s expertise in fae lore and history. He’s the best chance we have of locating those documents.”
“We have Kiara. She’s a good researcher,” I objected.
“It’s better if we have two scholars than one. The archives at Darragh College are huge. They’ll take time to search through,” Emma insisted.
“I need to be sure I can trust him!”
“Ssh,” she insisted, casting a look at the door. She dropped her voice before she said, “This is important. Arthur is the best chance you’ve got of finding the scrolls quickly, before you get caught.”
“If you insist upon him coming, then we need to acknowledge the obvious,” I said dryly. “I have to confront Arthur about Vara’s strange behavior.”
“You can’t piss him off now,” Emma said in exasperation.
“Watch me.” I stormed out of the room. I heard Emma shuffle behind me, doing her best to follow. I immediately headed to the library, where I knew Arthur would be.
He was there, reading by candlelight. And speak of the devil, Vara was there with him. She looked up when I entered. Her expression paled, as if she could read on my face what this was about.
