“Of course I am!” Ez raged. “Did you really not notice?”
“Whatever I did to you, I’m sorry—”
“Ancestors, you don’t even know!” Ez exploded. “You can’t even see why I’m pissed!”
“Thentell me!” Liam demanded.
“You want to know how I really feel, Dad?” Ez challenged. “You were never there for me.”
“Of course I was—”
“No!” Ez yelled. “You don’t get to tell me how I feel. You were hard on me growing up— way harder than you were on Ava, or Alana, or even Maverick! I needed your compassion, and all I got was your lectures. You let Ava get away with stealingcars! But when my condom broke, suddenlyI’mthe villain.”
“I was trying to protect you!” Liam insisted.
Ez’s tone wavered. He was on the verge of breaking down completely. “I didn’t need you to protect me from anything. I needed your support! I was being safe, and doing the right thing, but even though what happened was an accident, you acted like a total hardass once I came to you with the news! I could’ve hidden it, but I didn’t. I chose to trust you guys… and now I see that was a mistake. When Rosary got pregnant, I thought about running away with her. You weren’t protecting me. You were pushing me away! And when she lost the baby, I— I—”
Ez couldn’t finish. My heart broke for him. I didn’t know what he was about to say, but it was evident how deeply devastated he was.
Ez’s tone softened. “You let Ava get away with everything, but you were so strict with me. I did nothing wrong, and you treated me like I’d failed you!”
“Son, I’m so sorry,” Liam said gently. “I always suspected you might’ve inherited my illness. I thought I was preparing you for the worst, because I knew how difficult it was going to be for you to face. And yeah, I was harder on you, because I wanted to prepare you for that. I hoped that if I toughened you up, you could face it easier, and stay strong.”
“You can’tprepareanyone for this disease. You just deal with it,” Ez shot back. “Maybe if we’d all been honest and admitted that I wasn’t healthy in the first place, I could’ve dealt with it better. I was really scared. I wanted someone to talk to, because I knew that something wasn’t right with me. But I had topretendto be healthy, and hold it all together because you know what? I’m the one who always does that. I’m the son who holds the family together. You get sick, or Ava fucks up, and I try to be the good kid who doesn’t have any problems and can take care of everyone else, along with myself. But who was standing inmycorner, huh?”
“I regret it, but I’m here for you now. I always have been. Can you ever forgive me?”
Ez scoffed. “You can’t change the past, Dad.”
“I can’t, but I can try to correct the future,” Liam said.
Ez gave a disgusted noise. “You know, the night I got arrested, you didn’t even bother to askwhy. You just came blazing in bitching about what a horrible kid I was—”
“I didn’t mean anything I said that night,” Liam said. “It was inexcusable, but I couldn’t stand the thought—”
“Then you sent me off to the Institute without even a goodbye!” Ez cut him off without allowing him to explain. “I wasdefending my sister,and you treated me like some kind of criminal. You should’ve known me better than that. I would’ve never done what I did if I wasn’t protecting the people I love. I wouldn’t let myself get carried away by a jealous streak. And if you think that’s true, then… I’m not really your son at all.”
The longest pause I’d ever heard in my life stretched through the hall.
“I see that you’re angry, and you have every right to be,” Liam said. “I’ll be here if you’re ready to talk.”
I’d never heard Ava’s father speak in such an understanding tone. He knew he’d royally fucked up.
“Why bother?” Ez said bitterly. “Just take Ava home for Christmas. I’m staying at the Institute for the holidays.”
“Ez, we all want you home.”
“Well, I’d rather be alone. We have nothing to discuss.”
Sharp footsteps started in our direction.
“Ezekiel,” Liam called after him, but he sounded hopeless. His footsteps didn’t follow.
Ez turned the corner where Ava and I were standing. He stopped in his tracks and sneered, “What areyoudoing here?”
“Ez,” Ava said gently, like she wanted to help.
“Are you following me?” Ez accused.
