“Oh, well…” Marcus floundered. “I meant to. We don’t really have time for something else. Our rooms will be locked by the time we get back.”
I sighed and ran my fingers over the bracelet. “I don’t have anything else. I think… I think as special as this is to me, I need to let it go. Ava and I aren’t dating anymore. I’ve accepted that we’ve broken up, but the rest of it… it’s hard because we share a soul, and part of me has been hanging on to that. But I don’t know if I can do that anymore.”
You can’t change it, Oberi said.
I scowled.I asked you here for emotional support. I don’t need your commentary.
Oberi huffed.
I handed my bracelet to Marcus. “Let’s do this.”
“Okay,” Marcus said. “I’ll have you help me cleanse the space. There’s a lot of history here in the chapel. I can feel it.”
“Is it ghosts again?” I asked him.
He sounded uncertain. “Not ghosts, per se. Just an… odd feeling. The energy’s weird. I don’t like it. We need to cleanse the area with palo santo before we start. It’s a Hawkei herb your tribe uses, so I think it makes sense we use it for your ceremony.”
I heard the click of a lighter, then smelled the sweet scent of burning wood. I didn’t know how Marcus always managed to have a lighter on him, considering inmates weren’t even allowedscissors, but it was probably approved for spellwork in his warlock classes.
Marcus handed me a stick of palo santo. I walked around the room, filling it with the cleansing smoke. He did the same to the other side of the room. After a good fifteen minutes— because the room washuge— we met in front of the pews again.
“That should be good enough,” Marcus said. “Take this.”
I reached out, and Marcus placed a cup into my hands. “What’s this?”
“It’s water,” he said. “First, I’m going to have you relax. Take as long as you need. When you’re ready, you will whisper a prayer of forgiveness to the water and drink it. Your words have energy, and when spoken, you infuse this energy into the water.”
“But I’m not a warlock,” I pointed out.
“It doesn’t matter,” Marcus said. “This works with any intention. You remember the forgiveness prayer I taught you?”
I nodded. “Yeah.”
Marcus pressed the lighter into my hand. “For the armband when you’re ready. Let’s begin.”
A beautiful melody filled the chapel, played on a string instrument.
I tilted my head to the side. “What is that? A harp?”
“It’s a lyre I found in the music room,” Marcus said.
“Since when do you know how to play a lyre?” I asked him.
“You learn a lot when you hang out with band geeks through all of high school,” Marcus said. “Don’t worry about it. I’m here for you.”
I closed my eyes and listened to the soothing music as Marcus ran his fingers over the strings. He spoke softly, guiding my breath slowly, until I began to calm down. I couldn’t seem to sit still, so I stroked Oberi’s fur with one hand. My mind raced, but Marcus had told me not to judge my thoughts— to just let them come as they pleased and observe them.
It wasn’t easy. My past seemed to replay in my mind, and the cup of water shook in my hand. I didn’t know if I would ever be ready to drink it. We were going to be sitting here all night.
“It’s okay,” Marcus said quietly, continuing his tune on the lyre. “Take all the time you need.”
I drew a deep breath and nodded.Ancestors, this is so uncomfortable.
I noticed the thought slip through my mind, and I observed it with curiosity. Of course this was uncomfortable. What did I expect? But that didn’t mean I should run from it. If I truly wanted to move on from my past, I had to embrace the discomfort.
“Under this full moon, I forgive my past,” I said, repeating the prayer Marcus had taught me. “I release myself from the chains I have created out of my past experiences and the people I have come in contact with. I forgive myself of my past mistakes, and I welcome love into my heart now. I am at peace.”
I drank the water, and I was surprised at how refreshing it felt. It was as if the words I said were even more powerful than I thought— like the water and the intention inside was permeating each cell in my body.
