“Dammit.” My fists tightened. “No wonder she’s been so reluctant to make a move.”
“She hasn’t announced the pregnancy yet, but she will,” Emma said. She paused and bit her lip. “But does it matter? The monarchy in Malovia isn’t a direct line. Kings and queens have to prove themselves in the King’s Contest. What difference would an heir make?”
“A prince or princess has automatic privilege to enter the next King’s Contest so long as a lord or lady vouches for them, which they always do,” I said. “It’s a chance for a family to maintain control of the crown, as I did after my father. Gabby producing an heir gives her the chance to remain in power if her child wins the Contest, even if we manage to kill her. Her memory will live on in the people, which will inspire rebellion.”
“That’s not good for us.” Emma gnawed at her lip. “So you’re saying even without a direct line of succession, Gabby’s heir could still sway people to her side?”
“It does strengthen her claim on the throne, even with Elijah gone,” I said. “Even if we are married, without an heir of our own, Gabby’s claim with that infant is stronger than ours. Her child gets an automatic entry into the next King’s Contest due to being the descendent of a monarch as long as a noble backs their entry, and one always will.”
“But the King’s Contest only takes place every twenty years,” Emma objected.
“It doesn’t matter. Even if we win the war, we’ll only have two decades on the throne before Gabby’s child participates in the Contest.”
“If they win, they’ll undo everything we’ve worked for,” Emma added flatly.
“It’s worse than that. The fae are obsessed with bloodlines, and we still have a significant group of people who believe Gabby is the rightful ruler. Now, they’ll believe her child is the proper heir. Support for her will grow stronger now, because people will insist she’s furthering the royal bloodline, and they’ll insist that bloodline should grow up in the palace.”
“And that’s something I can’t do. If we don’t have an heir of our own, there’s nothing to challenge Gabby’s offspring, and it makes us look weak.” Emma gave a heavy sigh. “So this childdoespose a threat. What’s our next move?”
“We might have to make a terrible decision.” Even as I said the words, they haunted me. That wasn’t the kind of man I wanted to be.
Emma blanched, and her lips tightened. “We’re talking about killing an unborn child. An infant, if Gabby gives birth before we have the chance to slay her,” Emma said. “Ethan, can we do that?”
Slaughtering an innocent child, even if it was Gabby’s, was repugnant to me. I knew it’s what many kings would do, and had done throughout the centuries to remain in control of their country.
But that’s not how I chose to rule. “This child is my cousin’s blood, therefore, the baby is also my family,” I said. “I refuse to hurt an innocent. The child will remain blameless if it comes into this world before we can ruin Gabby. But until that time, we can make no promises, and Gabby knows this. She’ll want to string this war along until that child is outside of her, at least.”
“That gives us less than nine months to show the people that we deserve the crown more than she does,” Emma insisted. “Gabby thinks our rule is a temporary position. She’ll be ready to move out of that fortress and into this palace once she pops out that kid.”
“She knows it’s not going to be that easy. She still doesn’t have the Crystals of Harmony, and we do,” I said. “That’s another reason she can’t afford to be reckless. She’s biding her time.”
“And time’s on her side,” Emma insisted. “Milonna said the fae are doomed to extinction within the next two years if we can’t unite the Crystals, and Gabby is going to take advantage of that.”
I shrugged. “We’re doing all we can.”
“We could get married faster,” Emma suggested. “I know the tradition is to be married in winter, but maybe this can’t wait.”
Our wedding was due to take place on the first of December. It was horribly close to the day prophesied that Emma’s blood would be used to raise Droga— December fourth— however, since the Black Claw had been defeated, I was all but certain that the prophecy wouldn’t come to pass. December first was the earliest we could wed without making us look weak. Kings and queens were to be married in December, before Christmas and the Winter Hunt. It was how it was always done.
“We can’t move the wedding up. It makes us look weak,” I said. “Elijah and Gabby tried to do the same thing, and it showed us they were unstable. We can’t give any signs, to Gabby or the people, that we aren’t secure in our rule, and that we’re willing to violate tradition. Ceremony is important to the fae, and we’re already making a lot of big changes in Malovia. The wedding stays where it is.”
Emma’s eyes watered. “I’m sorry, Ethan. If I could safely have a child—”
“I knew you couldn’t when I asked you to be my mate.” I reached out, and took her into my arms. I could not stand to see her cry. She placed her head against my chest, and a few tears leaked from behind her lids. “It changes nothing for me.”
Emma’s voice was thick with a barely-suppressed sob. “I can’t give you what you want. No matter what we do, this would be easier if I could have a baby. And because I can’t do what every woman issupposedto, the entire country is in jeopardy.”
I squeezed her even tighter against me. “Emma, I wanted you regardless of whether you could or could not bear my children. I decided long ago that having you in my life was more important than having a daughter or a son.”
“I feel like I failed you.” She sniffed, and I lifted her chin.
“You didn’t. I would never think so.” I kissed her tears away, brushing my lips under her eyelids and across her cheeks. “We knew this was a bridge we’d have to cross someday, whether we were on the throne or not.”
“I didn’t think we’d have to face it so soon.” Her lip wobbled. “I can be a warrior, a great sorceress, a good governor. But I can’t be the one thing that this country needs me to be, which is a mother.”
“You’ll be a mother to the people,” I said. “That’s all Malovia needs, is someone to look after her and guide her into a new era. Without children, you can fully concentrate on making this country the best it can be, and so can I. In a way, we’re stronger for it, because our people are our children. That’s a gift no monarch has ever given Malovia before. We can lead the fae into a new and peaceful age. Let’s just take one step at a time, and deal with what’s ahead before we torture ourselves over something we can never have.”
Emma crushed her face into my chest, and said nothing more. I knew the guilt was eating her alive, and I was helpless to mend it. Children were something I’d considered in the past, but they weren’t much for me to give up, for Emma’s sake.
