“You’re scared. That’s all,” I said gently.
“Maybe a little,” she admitted, but I didn’t have to be bonded to her to know it was a lie.
“What are you scared of?” I asked. “If I know, maybe I can help.”
Ava didn’t answer for several seconds. I didn’t want to prod, but I was starting to think she hadn’t heard the question. I opened my mouth to ask again, but she answered before I got anything out.
“I’m scared of… the Institute,” she said in a small voice.
It didn’t make sense. “We’ve been here for months, and you’ve never expressed your fear before.”
“You weren’t fighting before,” she stated bluntly.
My whole body stilled. “You’re afraid of me fighting?”
Ava gulped. “I’m afraid of losing you.”
“Nothing is going to happen to me in those fights,” I promised. I intended to soothe her fear, but I was afraid I was doing the opposite.
“You already got hurt,” she objected. “I know magic is going to help you heal faster, but it still scares me. I don’t know what’s going to happen to you in that fight ring. I can’t lose you.”
There was an unspoken message in her tone.
“You’re not talking about fighting, are you?” I realized.
Ava took a few breaths. “Sometimes it feels like I’m waiting for the day you get sick of me, or realize I’m crazy, and leave. What keeps me up at night is wondering if you’re still going to be there in the morning.”
My heart melted, and my shoulders fell. I hated that Ava thought I’d ever leave her.
“Pidge,” I sighed. I pulled her close and placed a kiss on the top of her head. “I will always be here for you.”
She curled into me. “Can we talk about something else?”
It was clear she didn’t want to talk about her bipolar, and I could respect that. Instead, I brought up the first thing that came to mind.
“Have you ever heard of supernatural bounty hunters?” I asked.
“Yeah, sure. Why?”
“Professor Allen talked about them in class,” I said. “I’m going to be one someday. After we get out of here, I mean.”
I expected Ava to shoot back how that wasn’t possible— the way Professor Allen and Chancey had responded.
Instead, she said, “It’s really noble of you to want to take down bad guys. I think you’d be good at it.”
It shocked me how Ava seemed to do a complete one-eighty in under a minute. She was just talking about how dangerous fighting was, and bounty hunting waswayworse.
But it was never about that in the first place, I knew.
“After we get out, you can do whatever you want to do. I know you can be anything you want to be,” Ava said. “I’ll always support your choices.”
My shoulders relaxed, and I felt totally at ease.
Until she added, “We just have to unlock the lost city and fulfill the prophecy first.”
Every muscle in my body froze. My mouth went dry, and my voice came out raspy as I answered, “Yeah. Of course.”
Ava showed no indication that she detected my lie. The truth was, we were going nowhere near that city. Regardless of what Maddie had told me, Ava’s condition was worsening. I didn’t think she could handle fulfilling the prophecy in the first place. She could barely get through the day without crumbling inside. No way she’d be able to save the world. It’d destroy her, and I’d be forced to watch.
