Stop what you’re doing, Ava.
You don’t want to hurt Charlie, do you?
Ancestors, this again. The voices were so loud, they were giving me a headache. I was seriously over this.
Charlie caught my distance. “What are you thinking about?”
“The voices,” I whispered. “They’ve gotten even louder lately. I don’t know how to shut them up.”
Charlie mused on this. “How are you feeling?”
He was referring to my mood. I didn’t want to tell him the truth— that it was like gray paint drying on the walls. “Okay,” I lied.
Charlie could tell I was fibbing. I couldn’t really lie to him through our bond. It didn’t work very well. “Is something bothering you?” he asked.
I wondered whether to tell him. “Monica’s birthday is coming up,” I said. “Every year, it brings back all kinds of emotions.”
“Oh.” Charlie held back a moment. “I get that way around Marty’s birthday, too.”
It was nice to know I wasn’t the only one, although I hated his pain. I’d prefer to go through it alone, rather than see him hurting.
“I’m just reminded of everything that happened, every year,” I told him. “Sometimes I feel like I have to endure it, instead of just talking about it.”
“Well, what if youdidtalk about it?” Charlie offered. “Let it out instead of letting it stew.”
“What do you mean?”
“I think you should tell other people about what happened,” Charlie started. “Maybe not everyone, but someone you trust. It might help you to start healing, instead of feeling like you have to conceal this big secret.”
I mulled over the idea. Charlie was the only one who knew about my assault. It’d been hard telling him, but I’d felt better once I’d shared what had happened. “Maybe I will. Thanks, Charlie. For caring.”
“Of course I care,” he said. “You’re my pidge.”
That made my insides knot together. I couldn’t help but squeeze his hand. I washispidge. Right now, Marcus could dance across the room naked and I wouldn’t even notice. I only had eyes for Charlie Wahkin.
The door slammed, breaking our tender moment as a teacher walked in. Professor Mazur taught this class. I really didn’t like her. She was stuck-up and quite rude, not to add she’d denied Charlie accommodations all last semester. She was providing them now, but only because she’d been bribed by my dad. She was the worst kind of teacher.
“Take out your notebooks,” Mazur barked. “I expect your notes this semester to be impeccable; otherwise, you will not pass.”
Mazur pointedly ignored the recorder sitting on Charlie’s desk, so he could take audible notes. She’d taken Daddy’s money, though it was clear she wasn’t willing to admit defeat just yet. I was sure she’d do something else to get back at Charlie later.
Mazur sneered when I hesitated to take out my notebook from my bag. I did it as slowly as possible. She noticed mine and Charlie’s joined hands.
“Excuse me, but public displays of affection aren’t permitted at the Institute,” she sneered. “I’d like you two to stop this disgusting behavior at once.”
Ancestors, lady, we’re holding hands, not screwing on your desk, I thought.
Charlie let go of my hand, but I snapped, “Listen, Professor, just because you aren’t getting any doesn’t mean the rest of us can’t either.”
There was a bit of scared laughter that rattled around the room, and Mazur flushed bright red. “Miss Mitoh, if you speak that way to me again, I’ll have your tongue. Are we clear?”
I went to bite back something, but Charlie kicked me under the table, and Oberi let out a whine. I sighed and muttered, “Crystal.”
“Good,” Mazur sneered. “For the life of me, I can’t understand why you girls today go for such pathetic men. Apparently being a caregiver is more interesting to you than being a girlfriend.”
Charlie shrank down several inches in his seat. Her words humiliated him. I wanted to jump right up on the table and body slam Professor Mazur to the ground, like in some crazy wrestling match meant for television. I could hear the announcer in my head now.Ancestors, she’s got a chair!
I went to do just that, but Charlie grabbed my arm. “Don’t,” he whispered. Oberi put a paw on my shoe, telling me to stay put.
