“I kind of go from zero to a hundred really fast,” I explained. “I’ve been holding back forever, so now I have to let out everything that I’ve been suppressing inside of me.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’ve been in love with you for a really long time.”
“Really? How long?” Charlie leaned forward, like he was obsessed with knowing the answer.
“Since the night I told you everything in the loft above the chapel. The night of the party, when we got matching tattoos.” My fingers played across the keys.
Charlie stilled. “Ava, that was months ago.”
“Em-hm.” I pressed down harder on the keys, to make the notes really shine. “It was really hard not telling you during the Darke Games. I didn’t know if we’d make it to the end, and if one of us died, I wanted you to know how I felt.”
“Then what held you back?”
“I knew if we both made it out, I’d have to face my feelings,” I explained. “Plus I knew once I admitted it, I’d go overboard with… all this.”
I gave a sheepish shrug. “I’m not a person who refrains from affection once I care about someone. I can be over the top, and I didn’t know if that would scare you off.”
“That doesn’t scare me off. It draws me in.” Charlie moved closer. “I never knew a person could love so… deeply.”
“Well, if you’re going to do something, might as well do it right,” I said, and I kissed him on the cheek. “With me, it’s all or nothing, and you are my all.”
Charlie’s face glowed warm. I was ready to have a kickass makeout session right then and there, before Opal and Ezekiel walked into the room.
A smile spread across my face to see them together— even if they weren’t technicallytogether.They’d been hanging out a lot lately, and I dared to say they looked super cute.
Ez held a camera and waved it around. “I checked out a camera from Professor Ellender. It’s really shitty, though.”
Cameras didn’t work well at the Institute, due to all the magic use. The ones the school had for students to use were really old, and took awful video, made worse by all the supernatural energy floating around.
“It’ll have to do,” I said.
Ez paused. “Ava, are yousureyou want to do this? It’s been a really long time.”
My spirit twisted inside of me, but the pain wasn’t greater than the longing. I wanted to start making music videos again, and I wanted them to be with Charlie.
“Yes. This is what I want,” I said softly. “This is the best way to honor Monica. I don’t think she would’ve wanted me to give it up like I did. I want to get back to it.”
Ezekiel nodded before he set up the camera. I worked on testing the crappy microphone we’d found while digging around in the music room, while Charlie got situated in front of the piano. I struggled with the mic for a minute— the Institute always had the shittiest materials— before I got it to work. I gave it a couple of tests before I said, “I think we’re ready.”
“You can do it!” Opal gushed, giving us a tiny clap.
Ezekiel pressed record. The red light of the camera came on, and I swallowed down my nerves.
“Hey, subscribers,” I said shakily. “I know it’s been— um, three years, and during my last video, I told you guys I was done with my channel.”
I took a deep breath. “But… I’ve kinda decided to start making videos again. This is Charlie.” I gestured to him behind me, and he nodded. “He means a lot to me. He’ll be playing piano, while I’ll be singing vocals. This is a song we made together. It’s calledHalf a Soul.”
Charlie counted down, then began playing the opening chorus. I shook off my anxiety and began to sing.
“You were the beginning of my story
Or was it the end?
Holding us together like fragments of paper
Or ashes upon the wind
