The look on Ivy’s face got so soft, and I saw tears welling over his eyelids. “Do you really think he loves me?”
“Of course! The evidence is all there. He stopped dealing drugs, he doesn’t gamble as much, hell, he’s even less of a prick. Overall, he’s turning into a nice guy. I never saw him change— he didn’twantto change— until you showed up. He’s becoming abetter person, for you!”
I purposefully avoided bringing up the fight club, because even though I thought that was Ivy’s right to know, that was a conversation he and Chancey needed to have. Chancey was a bad guy… but he was turning into one of the good ones, for Ivy’s sake. That meant they had something special.
“Maybe you’re right. But I’m so scared,” Ivy confessed. “What if he breaks my heart?”
“You never know until you try. Give him a chance. I promise it’ll feel better than holding back on your feelings,” I said.
Ivy chewed on his lip, and I watched his fangs pierce the top of his skin. “I’ll think about it. I don’t know if I’m ready. How did you know Charlie was the one for you?”
“Because he doesn’t run away. He runs toward me,” I said. “I didn’t think I’d find anyone who puts up with my shit, but it’s more than that. He pushes me to be better. Charlie gives me hope I can have a normal life. A better life, even with my bipolar. Maybe Chancey can give you the same hope.”
Ivy made a sad face. “I don’t know if I’m cut out for the two-kids and a picket fence life. It’s nice to dream about, but I’m just too… bad.”
“That’s not true. I used to think the same way, but we’re at the Institute to correct our behavior, right?”
Ivy gave a sour laugh. “Nothing’s going to change me, precious. I always thought I’d end up dead in some alley somewhere, after a client killed me, or after overdosing. You don’t live a high-stakes life like me without paying the consequences.”
“Don’t say that, Ivy. You deserve so much better. You deserve to be loved, and to die as an old person who’s lived a full life.”
Ivy made a scoffing noise. “Sounds like a fairy tale to me.”
“Don’t think that way. You said Chancey is your second shot. You two can build a new life together once you get out of here. Take it.”
Ivy drummed his fingers against the bar. “Maybe.”
Ivy gave me a wink. “But enough about me. You’ve got someone waiting for you in the music room, don’t you?”
With a thrill, I checked my watch and realized Charlie was finally out of class. I jumped up. “You’re right. I’ll see you later, Ivy!”
I grabbed the bag at my feet and bolted out of the room. Oberi followed me. Her cape billowed behind her as she trotted behind me through the hallways, and people cleared the way to give her space.
I couldn’t help it. When I knew Charlie was nearby, I had to run to him.
Oberi nosed me, as if she was asking if I’d really believed what I said to Ivy. And I knew I did. I didn’t think this dump would ever start to change me, but itwas. The reform school was reforming me, but not because of the consequences of the program or the strict rules.
It was because of the people. Because of my friends, and Charlie, and the teachers who cared. It’d been so hard living in Kinpago, and I hadn’t even realized it— my family was great, but they didn’t have the same impulses I did to react to everything. I’d never realized it before, but I’d felt inferior— the bad kid who did bad things just because she could, surrounded by people who were not just heroes, but whowantedto be good, because that’s who they were on the inside. I felt so out of control all the time, and I didn’t know how to stop it.
Here at the Institute, I was surrounded by people who were just as fucked up as I was, so my thought process didn’t seem like such a sin. It felt normal. Better than that, it felt like it wasn’t a life sentence to think that way. I was witnessing people turn their lives around after they’d really screwed themselves over. At the Institute, you either got better, or you got worse, and I saw what happened to the people who got worse… what kind of monsters they became.
Being bad didn’t feel like a choice to me before, but it did now. It was making all the difference.
I skidded to a stop in front of the music room, and nearly fell over. Ididfall over when Oberi failed to stop behind me, and her front smashed into my ass. I went toppling into the music room, slamming into an accordion, and Oberi neighed an apology.
“You always know how to make an entrance.” Charlie stood above me, holding out a hand.
I took it, and once our skin touched, a surge of energy went through me. I launched myself upward and grabbed on to him. I squeezed him so tight my arms almost went numb. The powerful feelings rushing through me made me feel high. I placed my head on his chest and made a happy sound. “I love you.”
Charlie kissed the top of my head. “I loveyou.”
Charlie and I really liked sayingI love you.It was like we couldn’t stop. I figured I had to make up for a lifetime of saying it, because Charlie had never heard it before, and that wasso wrong. How anybody couldn’t love him, I wasn’t sure.
He bounced me in his arms. “You should let go.”
“No. I don’t want to.”
Charlie gave a noise of amusement. Oberi guided him to the piano bench, and Charlie sat us both down. I ended up on his lap.
