“Yes,” I stated flatly.
Ava laughed. “I thought you understood how I felt. I haven’t beenavoidingyou.”
“Then what’s up with all the fashion designing lately? I thought you didn’t want to do music anymore.”
“Of course I do!” she insisted. “I thoughtyouwould rather train than do music. I’ve been designing so you had time to train. I… I didn’t think you wanted to make songs with me anymore. That it wasn’t important.”
A weight fell from my shoulders. “I want both— fightingandmusic.”
“Oh…” Her voice became soft. “It’s just… you seemed so happy in the ring. I know we’ve fought about it before, but it doesn’t matter how worried I am about what might happen to you. I want you to fight because you love it. I didn’t want to keep bringing up how worried I get, because you’d think I’m telling you to quit, but I’m not. It’s just… this is risky, and I care about you.”
I entwined my fingers with hers. “I know. But you have nothing to worry about.”
“I do!” she pressed. “Ghost broke his arm, and they’re still making him fight.”
“They’re notmakingus fight,” I argued. “Ghost signed up for this, same as everyone else.”
“Yeah, but he wanted out. What if you want out at some point?”
“I don’t. Besides, Ghost is fine. We were sparring the other day, and he was using his arm.”
“Really?” Ava sounded confused, like she’d beencertainhis arm was broken.
“I think he was just trying to get out of his next fight,” I said.
Ava took a deep breath. “Look, I don’t want to argue about this. You’re not going to convince me there’s nothing to worry about, and I’m not going to convince you to stop fighting. So we’re going to have to come to some sort of agreement.”
I took a few beats to consider her words. “What kind of agreement?”
“A compromise,” she suggested. “You let me be worried about you and tend to your bruises after your fights, and I’ll support you, because this is your thing. I won’t be the girlfriend who tells you what to do.”
Every muscle in my body tensed, and heat pooled in my belly. “My… girlfriend?”
Just the thought of calling Ava my girlfriend— for real— made my head spin. A whirlwind might as well have come by and swept me off my feet, because I felt like I was soaring high above the prison yard.
Ava’s skin heated beneath my touch. “I didn’t mean that. Forget I said anything.”
I quickly came spiraling back down. My elation immediately turned to irritation.
“Forget, pidge?” I blew a breath. “How can I forget something that makes me feel so damn good?”
She dropped her fingers from mine. “You sound offended.”
“Of course I’m offended! You say men are oblivious, but if women are so insightful, you’d know how I feel about you by now.”
Ava caught her breath. “How you… feel about me?”
I reached for her hands again, and they were almost too hot to touch. I didn’t care. I loved the way her skin warmed with her Fire. “I’m crazy about you, pidge. But I’m sick of playing the friends-with-benefits game.”
I could never open up to anyone else, but with Ava it came naturally. The words spilled out of me. “I care so deeply about you, but I don’t feel like I can take care of you properly if you just keep stringing me along. There’s too much uncertainty, and I’ve lived with that all my life. It’s like being in a foster home all over again. I never knew when that was going to end, and now I’m not sure if you’re going to stay or take off on me. At least if I were your boyfriend, I would know there was some stability. I could do better to protect you if everyone knew you were mine.”
Ava spoke softly. “But Charlie… they already know.”
“It’s different if they think we’re just a fling,” I pointed out. “You mean way more than that to me. I wantmore, pidge. I want something permanent. Something I can count on to last.”
Ava sniffled, and I reached up to feel tears streaming down her cheeks. My breath caught in my throat. “Pidge, what’s wrong?”
“I didn’t know you felt that way— about me feeling like another foster home.” Her voice cracked. “You deserve better than that from me. You deserve to know how I truly feel.”
