“Hey, Emma.” We stared at the casket instead of each other. He moved closer, but I felt the urge to pull away.
Something had changed between Finlay and I. I still had feelings for him, but they were overshadowed by everything in my life. I thought that once Ethan was gone, I’d be free to love Finlay, and move on.
Now that Ethan’s time was so near, I knew. My grief for him would ruin everything else. There’d be no moving on afterward.
Finlay cleared his throat. “Arthur told me I’d find you here. I think we need to talk about things.”
“About what?” My voice was hoarse.
Finlay frowned. “You’re a beautiful girl. And I want you more than anything else in this world, lass. Almost as much as I wanted my mate.”
“But?” I had to look at him now. He almost winced.
“But…” Finlay sighed. “I think your heart is still set on Ethan. And I don’t want to get in the way of that. I think it’s best for now if we cut things off, until you make up your mind.”
Such a declaration should’ve devastated me, but it barely caused me to blink. Finlay was more or less breaking up with me, but I just didn’t care. I nearly felt relieved.
“I never wanted to hurt you, Fin,” I said honestly. “I really do like you. You’re a great guy.”
“But I’m nottheguy,” he insisted. “And I know that now.”
I swallowed. “I don’t know if Ethan’s the right guy, either. He’s… he’s very sick.”
“I’ve noticed.” Finlay looked away. “And yet something tells me you still want to fight for him, until the very end.”
“I don’t want you to think less of me,” I hurried to say. “I never wanted to use you.”
“I don’t think you did. There are no hard feelings between us. If I still had my mate, I know what I’d choose,” Finlay said. “You helped me move on from my loss, and I thank you for that.”
“I’m glad I could do something for you. Even if it wasn’t what you wanted.”
“You taught me that I could love again,” he said. “And though that’s wonderful, I think you should give Ethan another chance. I’ll be waiting if he’s not the right man for you.”
Finlay stood. He grasped my hand and gave it a squeeze. “I just want you to be happy, lass. I won’t fight for what’s not mine any longer.”
“I want you to be happy, too, Fin,” I said. “Someday you’ll find a sorceress who really loves you. She’ll be able to give you more than I ever could.”
Finlay gave a wistful smile. “Well, we all wish for happy endings. Doesn’t mean we’ll get them.”
“We will,” I said desperately. “We have to.”
Finlay let my hand drop. He walked away, and although I was sad when he left, I couldn’t bring myself to feel anything more than solace that I’d made the right choice.
Ethan was the only one for me. Alive or fallen, he’d still have my heart.
It’d be just as dead as he was when he was gone.
On Monday,I was having one of the worst flare-ups of my life. It was mostly due to stress. I didn’t get any sleep, and woke up with joint pain all over my body. My muscles were so twisted, tears beaded at the corner of my eyes, and there was a tightness in my chest that made it difficult to breathe. It hurt to even move. My period was over, so I thought my cramps would go away, but they’d only seemed to move to other parts of my body.
And yet, for as much pain as I was in, I couldn’t sit here and allow myself to think of all the terrible things that were happening. Class would be a distraction. I needed to get up and start my day.
I struggled through Enchanting, then began the walk to Lord Lucien’s classroom for Fae History after lunch. I’d forced down some chicken broth and a couple pieces of gluten-free toast. My stomach ached, but I did what I could to prevent myself from tossing it back up.
Before I entered Lord Lucien’s class, someone blocked my way. It was Chastity. She towered over me as she swept back her long blonde hair, laying a hand on her hip.
Oh, great. What did she want?
“Can you excuse me?” I asked, trying to move past. “I need to get to class.”
