Delmare and Odette began lighting the candles in a counterclockwise circle while I stripped for the tub. I got in. The milk washed over my skin, and I smelled the oils in the tub as I sank down to my shoulders. Delmare and Odette knelt by the edge of the circle and waited.
I had to forget about Ethan and focus on casting the spell for myself. Otherwise, it wouldn’t work. I closed my eyes and began reciting the incantation.
“As a child of the goddess, I am worthy. I accept that I am whole just as I am. I accept I need no mate to fulfill my purpose. I accept that I love myself, and that I will cherish myself in a way no mate ever could. I am strong, beautiful, wise and brave. I am all I will ever need. I love my mind, body, and spirit just as it is. I am enough in every way. I ask the goddess to cast away my pain, and bring about a better change in my life.”
I could see the firelight burning through my eyelids. I kept my eyes shut and imagined Ethan and I’s bond. It was a thick cord, connecting him to me, unbreakable in every way but one. Even though he was far away, I could still feel him at the end of our connection.
I swallowed and said, “Tomir, King of the Gods, use your sword to cut the bonds that my mate and I share, and sever any ties we may have— negative or otherwise.”
In my mind’s eye, I saw a golden sword appear. It came slicing through the air, and cut in half the cord that tied Ethan and I together. The two edges of the bond fell away from each other, falling like frayed ropes.
The cord by Tomir was cut, but it would reform if I didn’t finish the ceremony. “Radek, Red Stag of War, give me the honesty to admit when my bond has met defeat. Vesna, Doe of Wisdom, give me the knowledge to know that I will love again, better and deeper than before. Neva, Specter Doe of Shadow, heal my heart with the passage of the days to come, as time heals all wounds.”
Asking Luka for help was hard, as he was Ethan’s chosen god. Tears ran down my face at his name. “L-Luka, Ghost Stag of Chaos, help me to steal back my life, and take what was always mine to give.”
My mouth filled with bitterness at the thought of Droga. Even if he was my enemy, he was still one of the Seven Gods, and I had to have his aide in this ceremony. “Droga, Black Stag of Wrath, allow me to feel suffering, as it is only by experiencing pain that better days are to come.”
Odette and Delmare were crying now. I could hear their sniffles as they echoed throughout the empty classroom. Gods, this was the hardest thing I’d ever done. But I knew I’d feel relieved once it was over. I’d finally be free.
I had to ask Milonna to do the final work, and end the bond for good. As my chosen goddess, she was the only one that could.
This would be the last part. Once Milonna ended my bond, I’d take the ashes of the journal pages and scatter them into the river, letting our bond drift away as if it had never been.
I still didn’t know if I could do this. And yet, I was strong. I wasn’t performing this ceremony because I had no other choice. I was doing this because my relationship was dead, and moving on was the best thing I could do for myself. It was painful, but I had to love myself more than I loved Ethan.
And if I was being truly honest, deep down, I just couldn’t do this anymore. Ethan wasn’t my knight in shining armor. He wasn’t riding in on his white horse to save me, and he wasn’t going to whisk me off into the sunset for a happily-ever-after. That Ethan was gone forever, and I had to accept it.
“Goddess,” I whispered, my voice like a breath on the wind. There was a whispering noise, and I opened my eyes as Milonna appeared at my summoning. She stood before the bath in her human form, hair twisted into her antlers as she blinked at me with those beautiful doe eyes. Odette and Delmare kept their heads bowed, staring at the floor.
My lip trembled. “Goddess, is this the right decision?”
Milonna gave me a motherly stare, and she reached out to stroke my red hair.There is no right path, champion. You will make many choices on the journey of your life. They will all lead you to your destiny. Whatever road you take will deliver you to where you’re meant to be.
Her words brought me comfort. I knew I’d be okay. I’d always have my goddess. Milonna would never leave my side, no matter what kind of sorrow came my way.
I opened my mouth, to invoke her blessing and end the bond for good. But before the first letter left my lips, the door to the alchemy lab burst open. Milonna vanished at the sound, and all the candles in the room went out.
It was Stefan and Alexei. Both of them were heaving for air, as if they’d run throughout the whole university. They leaned over their knees to catch their breath. Both of their eyes went wide as they saw the remnants of the ceremony, and realized what I’d been doing.
“Guys, what are you doing? You’re interrupting,” Odette squeaked.
“Emma, you need to come now if you want to say goodbye,” Stefan said. “Ethan’s on his deathbed.”
I felt the blood drain from my cheeks. “Where is he?”
“He’s in the woods. He crawled off by himself,” Alexei explained.
I didn’t care that I was naked in front of the boys. I jumped out of the tub and got my clothes back on, still sopping wet. In the hallway, both Alexei and Stefan changed into their shifter forms. I leapt on Alexei’s back and held onto his feathers as he charged ahead, while Delmare and Odette clung to Stefan.
They ran us into the forest. The university fell into darkness behind us as trees loomed from every shadow. My eyes searched the woods, looking for Ethan.
He was lying face down in the snow. I jumped off Alexei while he was still running, and fell to the ground. Theo was kneeling beside Ethan, and gave me a helpless look.
I turned Ethan onto his back and brought him into my lap. His lips and skin were blue from the cold. The dark veins had broken across his face, and there was a distance in his eyes that caused terror to flood my entire body. I felt his life force waver at the end of our bond. He had seconds left.
“It’s time, Emma,” he rasped, the death rattle in his throat even more pronounced. “Let me go.”
“Ethan.” The tears were dripping down my nose and onto his cheeks. This couldn’t be real. I didn’t want to let him go— I couldn’t.
