She took a deep breath. “I haven’t told anyone at school about this. But… I’m sick.”
It wasn’t something I didn’t know. But I pretended. “How sick?”
“Sick enough.” Her eyes were void of emotion as she said, “It’s called Common Variable Immune Deficiency Disorder. It’s a rare genetic disease. There is no cure. My immune system basically doesn’t work. My system doesn’t make enough antibodies to fight against infections. When your immune system shuts down, the rest of your body doesn’t work, either. A simple cold or flu could kill me— that’s why I have that plasma in my fridge. I have to infuse it every week in order to stay alive.”
My whole body went numb. It was hard to process this information— that my mate could be in so much pain. “You haven’t seemed sick often this semester, at least.”
“I’ve been lucky. And I’ve been hiding it. I’ve caught something pretty much every other weekend. Turns out college campuses are a great place to exchange germs,” she said in defeat.
That explained why she’d been hiding out in her dorm so much. She was isolating herself to prevent herself from getting sicker. “Is there anything I can do to help?”
“What can you do, Ethan? There’s nothingIcan do.” Her eyes were glistening as she turned toward me. “This is forever. It’s never going away, and it’s only going to get worse the older I get. I have to learn to deal with it.”
She quickly wiped away a few tears. “That’s why I wouldn’t be a good queen. I don’t even think I’d be a good mate. Who could want me, broken like this?”
I took her face in my hands gently and said, “Any Companion in their right mind would behonoredto have you as their mate.”
The way she looked at me in that moment— it was like time itself stilled and we were the only two people alive.
We moved forward instinctively, like moths drawn to a flame. Her lips were only inches from me now, and gods, they were intoxicating. I longed to move my mouth over hers and make her mine.
Having a mate was dangerous. They’d take your whole heart, and you were powerless to do anything in return. You’d do anything for them just to gain their favor. I was a dog worshipping at Emma’s feet right now, and that’s how I wanted it.
I was moments away from connecting with her lips. This was it. I was really going to do it. I was going to break through the useless things that separated us, and unite us as mates.
Our perfect moment was shattered when the window broke. Both of us jumped, and I grabbed Emma to pull her away from whatever threat had arrived. I pushed her behind me as I got up from the couch and went to observe the broken glass.
It was nothing. Just the storm. The wind had smashed a tree branch outside against the window and shattered it to pieces.
I turned around and looked at Emma. She was giving me a sheepish look, cheeks pink with embarrassment. It was clear that we’d gathered our senses and there was no going back to the moment we’d just shared. It was hot in here, and it wasn’t from the fireplace.
“We should get back,” I suggested. “It doesn’t look like it’s safe here.”
She nodded without another response, and picked up the empty mugs and saucers to put them in the sink. I killed the flames and left the ashes to smolder as we left the tiny cabin— the place where everything had changed, and there was no going back.
The snowstorm had died down. We could see our way back to the school now. I transformed into a wolven to shelter Emma from the harsh wind as we began our walk to the main campus. Emma kept her arms folded and head down, her eyebrows knitted together as if thinking as she clutched my hockey bag to her chest.
I couldn’t reverse my actions. What had happened had happened, and there was no going back. But it had helped me make a choice. I made my final decision. I loved Emma, and I wanted to protect her, but I couldn’t become king without her by my side. Choosing another mate would be torture after what we’d just shared. It would hurt her just as much as it would hurt me to stay away. Eventually, it would ruin us both. I couldn’t do that to her. Denying the connection we held was like denying the laws of nature itself. No matter what, I couldn’t stay away from her, and she couldn’t stay away from me. I was sure of that. Instinct itself would keep pushing us together.
More than that. It was love.
I had no other choice. Before the week was out, I’d ask Emma to be my mate.
And I hoped she’d say yes.
Chapter Eighteen
Emma
Ididn’t know how to explain it. I was the Phantom’s mate. But I had feelings for Ethan Nowak, too.
I didn’t know that was possible. I figured that once you found your mate, all other possibilities of hookups with other people became obsolete. Apparently, mating wasn’t that simple.
Unless there was another answer. Maybe I wasn’t in love with two different people. Maybe they were the same person.
Could Ethan be the Phantom? He had to be. There was no other explanation. I knew the Phantom was a wolven, and that he had to be a student. Ethan fit that description. But how did you confront someone with information like that? How could I expect him not to laugh in my face? Even if he was the Phantom, he’d probably deny it, and it wasn’t like I had any proof.
The question ate away at me. I had to know. On the first day of December I headed to the Rec Room. Ethan had asked me to meet him there early in the morning so we could study for our exams together. He was sitting on a couch in front of one of the giant TVs, working on homework.
