She cleared her throat, blush deepening as she stumbled back a step. “The money for Teddy’s school trip. Was it you?”
I drew in a breath. Only one person could have told her that. “Cameron came to see you?”
Her body pulled taut. “That’s not an answer.”
I straightened my shoulders; my skin suddenly felt too tight over my bones. “Yes.”
“Why?”
Why did she think? “Cameron wasn’t going to give you the money anytime soon. I saw a problem, and I fixed it.”
I winced. It sounded cold. Clinical.
When the truth was, I’d solve every problem in her life if she gave me the green light.
“Just a doctor fixing a patient?” Her laugh was a cruelbitter thing. “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, you warned me from the start you were going to hurt me.”
I flinched then grabbed a towel, racing after her as she fled. “Isla, we need to talk about this.”
32
Isla
I was halfway to the connecting door when Alistair caught up to me, his grip gentle but firm on my wrist, spinning me around to face him. He’d slung a towel around his waist but his chest was bare. Water dripped from his hair onto his wide shoulders. The scowl from our early days had returned, deepening the lines at his eyes.
“There’s nothing to talk about, Icelebratedwith you this morning about finally getting through to Cameron and you lied to my face. Do you know how stupid I feel?”
“I didn’t lie—”
“Then you what? Omitted? That’s the exact same thing. I . . . I’ve already lived that life, Alistair. Cloistered away. Letting some man decide what’s good for me. Giving with one hand and betraying with the other. And I let it happen over and over again because I thought it couldn’t get any better than that.” I flung my arms wide, knowing I was being too loud. Unable to stop it. “What’s worse is I genuinely thought you cared—”
“I do.” He swept forward. “Yes, I overstepped. Butonly because I wanted to take care of you. It’s not a lot of money—”
“Toyou. It’s not a lot of money to you.” I cut him off. Through my tears, his face smudged like a sepia photo. The bodice of the stupid dress I’d worn for him suddenly felt like a corset. “I never asked you to take care of me. Didn’t you hear a word I said at your mum’s house? I don’t want someone in my life who needs to fix everything. I want someone who knows how important it is for me to make my own way, who helps me get there.” I swiped at my cheeks.
“You might not agree with how I was handling Cameron,” I went on, “but the situation was mine to handle. If I hadn’t found out, would you have ever told me?” He didn’t need to answer; I could see it in his eyes. Hear it in the sharp intake of his breath. “You took the opportunity from me to hold Cameron accountable, and you took the opportunity from Teddy for her dad to stand up and do the right thing.” Salt filled my mouth. Seemed about right, because I’d let myself get in too deep, too quickly, and now I was drowning.
“Fuck, Isla.” His face crumpled. “I’m so sorry. You don’t even—”
It might have made me a coward, but I couldn’t bring myself to hear his apologies. I was coming undone, and . . . it was better this way. Better to end it now before I lost myself to him completely.
I was glad I was crying too much to see him clearly. “I think we should just call this what it was. A fake arrangement that got muddled in the middle.” I didn’t even know what I was saying. “I won’t hold you to the Cairn & Crust, maybe they’ll let Heather partner with me if I explain the situation.”
“That’s it?” His eyes were wide. Filled with panic. “You get to talk and then it’s just over? I don’t get to explain myself?”
I reached for the door handle. “There’s nothing to say. This is done.”
“This has barely started.” His hand pressed flat against the door above my head, the words vibrating from his skin through mine. “You’re a liar too, you know.”
“Oh yeah?” His skin was hot and damp from the shower, but he smelled different. Sweet and syrupy, like marshmallows . . . like me.
Despite it all, heat pooled low in my gut. Echoed with a desperate pulse between my legs.
My back arched. Arse seeking the friction of his groin.
Oh god.
I needed to stop. Needed to leave.
