Idrove them to my place first so I could change out of the suit I’d worn to work the day before and then to a nice restaurant in the city that was known for their specialty kids menu.
I’d researched more than houses and rings this past week and had become quite familiar with things that I’d had no uses for in the past. I probably knew all the best places to take a kid in this city.
Her little eyes were wide as she looked around at the other children and the corner where they’d set up a play area for kids while they waited to be served or after they ate.
The place was bustling and noisy, with kids running around and I could tell she wanted to go play. It broke my heart that it would be a little while before we could let her run around like that, but I promised myself to make it up to her.
She wanted to sit on my side of the table, which pleased me tremendously but confused the hell out of her mother.
Gia couldn’t say shit because she didn’t want to upset Amber but I knew she was not pleased. She’s become so used to doing it all on her own that having someone else in the picture was going to take some getting used to.
When her Winnie the Pooh pancakes came it was me she asked to cut them up for her while her mother sat sipping her coffee and watching us.
I knew I was being graded and didn’t blame her. I knew I had to prove to her that I wanted her child as well, wanted them both.
I had to prove to her that no matter how I felt about the father, the child was a part of her, how could I not love her?
Although I spoke to Amber and answered her million and one questions, my eyes never left Giavanna.
I watched every change in mood as they crossed her amazing face. She was genuinely afraid of something, but what?
I don’t think it had anything to do with my irrational jealousy of her husband and she had to know by now that I would never hurt either of them, so I was at a loss to explain that look of fear in her eyes.
After Amber had eaten enough her curiosity got the better of her and she wanted to go to the kid’s corner. Since I could see it from my place at the table I allowed her to go.
Again, I purposely didn’t ask her mother if it was okay when I let her out from her seat and watched her race over there.
“What’s on your mind, what’s got you so worried?” I kept my eyes on the child this time as I addressed the mother.
“I don’t want Amber to get hurt.”
“How is she going to get hurt?” I knew she wasn’t talking about the kid’s corner, but what was going on between us.
“How are you so confident when it comes to work but so skittish when it comes to your personal life?”
“Because work can’t hurt my heart.”
“You really think I’m going to hurt you?” I looked at her now as she looked down at her lap where she was tearing a napkin to shreds.
The look of loneliness that came over her then only convinced me that I should move forward with my plans. There was something going on in her head something that only she knew. Something she was afraid to tell me.
“Give me your hand.” I reached across the table for her hand and squeezed it gently once she placed it in mine.
“You won’t believe promises and my word doesn’t seem to mean much, so how about I show you what I want from you instead huh.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean that since my words don’t seem to hold much weight with you, I’ll just go ahead and show you. Don’t blame me if you don’t like my tactics.”
Just then, Amber came running back, flushed and full of excitement and waylaid any more conversation between us.
Not that there was bound to be too much of that anyway. I noticed that when we were alone together, except for work, she was usually very quiet. Almost like she was taking everything in to dissect at a later date.
We left the restaurant and headed to the shopping area. I held Amber’s little hand in mine as we walked and we stopped at every other store window to feed her curiosity.
We came to the place I was looking for, a children’s bookstore where I was sure my new daughter would lose her mind.
We were there for a while before moving on to the next place on my list and by the time afternoon came around and she was tired, and almost asleep on my shoulder, I took them back to my place.
