“Why are you doing this?”
“Why am I doing what?”
“All this. The specialist, the…”
“Would you have preferred me to let your child suffer? What do you take me for? Eat your food and don’t annoy me.”
I said it with enough warmth in my voice so she’d know I was just playing with her. Another first for me.
From her reaction to my interest it was obvious that she’d been alone for way too long. That there was no one else taking care of her, of them.
I can’t imagine the burden of having a sick child and no one to help. I tried to imagine my own mother in the same predicament and didn’t like the results one bit.
I asked her about her life, avoiding anything to do with the man she’d been married to. I wasn’t ready for that shit, didn’t know how to handle the feelings it evoked in me whenever I even thought of him.
I learned about her years in school, her dedication to making something better of her life after being raised in the foster system.
I learned of the struggles she’d faced since being orphaned at an early age, all alone in the world without anyone to care for her. Every word broke my fucking heart in pieces.
I wanted to tell her that that was all behind her now; that she never had to worry about anything ever again.
But I knew if I moved too fast I’d only spook her; she had no reason to believe me besides. Plus I was pretty sure she’d only argue me to death at this early stage in the game. So I kept my thoughts to myself. I’ll just show her.
10
It was obvious that she planned to spend the night so I arranged with the nurses to bring her a cot to sleep on. I couldn’t have her sleeping on the chair that was sure to be uncomfortable.
I was just my usual self when they tried explaining to me that that wasn’t possible, and it wasn’t long before someone was bringing a cot into the room.
“Go to sleep, I’ll watch over you both.”
“I can’t ask you to do that you’ve been here all day as it is. There’s a lot that needs to be done to prepare for the trip…”
“That’s been postponed. I can’t imagine that you’d want to leave your child like this so I’ve asked Gavin to call the client…”
“What, you can’t do that.”
“Were you planning to go and leave Amber here like this?”
“No, but we can send someone else in my place.”
“No we’re not. This is your hard work no one else is taking credit for it. I’m sure the client will understand. In fact Gavin got back to me already with their answer and they’ve given us an extension.”
“But…”
“It’s settled Giavanna, all you need to do right now is concentrate on Amber and let me handle the rest. Who takes care of her while you’re at work?”
“I have a sitter from an agency…”
“Is she reliable, is that who you were planning to leave her with while you go to Europe?”
“Yes, she’s very reliable she’s been with us since we moved here a couple months ago and she knows all about Amber’s health issues.”
I could see and hear her angst in every word and knew she’d been having a hard time with her decision to leave her child behind.
“Why didn’t you tell me you had a child?” She took a minute to answer and I knew she was choosing her words well.
“It just never came up I guess. Besides, you’re usually growling at me about something or other, when was I supposed to bring it up?”
