“As much as I’m able to,” he hedges, but softens the reply with a smile. “I’m not used to having anyone like you in my life. I want to share everything that I can with you, but there are aspects of my business that I have to play close to my chest. I have good reasons, I assure you.”
“All of this affects me too,” I remind him. “I don’t want you hiding anything from me that might bite me in the ass later.”
“I’ll give you as much access to my life as you want,” he agrees. “But I’m the best one to handle these kinds of negotiations today. If you want to be more involved, you know what you have to do,” he reminds me as he reaches over to take my left hand, then taps at my bare ring finger.
“Maximo, we talked about this. It’s still too early…”
“I want you to marry me,” he interrupts. “And when you’re ready to accept, we’ll head to a jewelry store and pick out a ring together.”
“Why is it so important to you?” I ask. “Why would you keep me in the dark until I accept? Just to put pressure on me? I don’t like that, Maximo. I don’t appreciate it.”
“I’m not keeping you in the dark, Constance. You’re right here with me, just as involved as anyone else. I’ve always dealt with the family business personally, and with good reason. Do you know why I want you to marry me, besides the obvious that I love and adore you?”
“What other reason can there be?” I shrug. “Why else would anyone get married?”
“Because a wife can’t be compelled to testify against her husband. Once we’re married, you can be directly involved asmuch as you want. I told you before that marriage offers a variety of protections in our world. The protections are for you and me both.”
“That makes sense, but I still think it’s too early—” I start to reiterate my protests.
“I don’t want to discuss this any further in front of other people,” Maximo interrupts me. “This is a discussion for us alone, at another time. Today, I’ll handle business just as I always have. I’ll make the decisions and dictate to my men how we proceed. I’m the head of this family, firefly. If you want to stand by my side, I’ve made my terms abundantly clear.”
I resist my initial urge to be offended, especially when he raises my hand to his lips and kisses it before letting it rest back in my lap. I need to look at this from his point of view, and how he’s used to protecting his family and business.
Besides, I feel a surge of such warmth and desire every time he touches me that my objections, especially based on nothing but the short time we’ve known each other, start to seem increasingly flimsy. How many couples have been through a fraction of what we have already?
Besides, Maximo is right about this being the wrong time to discuss our relationship. I glance around and can see that Trenton and Tony are both visibly uncomfortable. Trenton has scooted so far away from me on the seat that he’s practically hanging his head out the window. Meanwhile Joey’s hand keeps creeping over to turn the radio up just a bit at a time, presumably to drown out our conversation.
The truth I need to admit to myself is that I’m terrified. I’m scared of how attracted I am to Maximo, and about everything that’s happened to me while being with him. I’m still in shock about my pregnancy, and that in the last few weeks I’ve killed multiple people.
Each one of them deserved it for what they had done to my father, and to me. The first two, Kirill and his mouthy captain, hadn’t really bothered me, probably because they were responsible for my father’s death. As I dwell on it, I realize I don’t feel horrible for killing the two men who abducted me yesterday either. Instead, I just keep reliving the horror of the abduction, and the life-or-death struggle that followed. I kept waking up in a panic last night as my mind dwelled on those seconds I spent fighting with and killing them. Even now, when my thoughts turn back to it, I can barely breathe as I’m gripped with thoughts of what could have happened if I’d been a moment slower, or if they’d reacted differently.
“I didn’t mean to press the issue. I’m just afraid, Maximo. It seems like I’ve had this nagging fear as the backdrop to our entire relationship. I mean, I didn’t know who attacked my father or why, and then you started helping me piece it all together. That’s when I realized how much I don’t know. My world was a lot simpler before I met you. It’s been a difficult adjustment.”
“You don’t regret it, do you? Showing up at the estate that day looking for answers?”
“No. I don’t regret anything with you, Maximo. I would do it all again in a heartbeat.”
He picks my hand up and presses it to his lips again. “I wouldn’t change anything, either. I know you’re afraid. That’s why you’re a survivor. Have you ever heard the expression ‘courage isn’t the absence of fear; it’s carrying on despite it’? You’re the bravest woman I’ve ever met, and the only one I’ve ever met who I felt could truly stand beside me and be my partner. We’ll get through this together, and I will protect you. You hear me, gentlemen?” he raises his voice to ask everyone in the vehicle. “I’ve vowed to keep her safe. We’re not going to have a repeat of yesterday, are we, Tony?”
“No, boss,” Tony rumbles. “I apologized to Mr. Luciani, but Ms. Monroe, I need you to know how bad I felt about what happened. I’m sorry, and nothing like that will ever happen again.”
“It wasn’t your fault, Tony, but I appreciate you saying that.” I reach up and give his meaty shoulder a friendly pat.
“Nothing is going to happen to her, Maximo. We’ll take her for a visit with Melissa and then come back to the office to round you up,” Trenton reassures him.
“I know you’ll be fine.” Maximo smiles at me, then leans over and gives me a kiss as Joey eases through traffic and pulls to the curb just outside the front of the tall office building.
“Have a good visit and tell Melissa she’s welcome to contact you through my phone if she needs anything at all. I love you, and I’ll see you soon,” he says before he opens the door and steps out of the vehicle.
“I love you too, Max. Be careful,” I add just before he closes the door and I scoot over to the window to watch him walk away. He gives me one last wave, then walks inside and out of my line of sight as Joey pulls back into traffic.
“He’ll be fine,” Trenton says, but I’m not sure if he’s trying to convince me or himself.
9
Maximo
I setoff the metal detector when I step into the lobby of the building containing my offices. The two guards sitting behind the desk glance up at me, then both get to their feet as they recognize me.
