Yeah…but here I sat next to a guy who knew what a pup was. “I haven’t…that is to say—” I swallowed again. And took a bite of salmon.
“I’ve only ever been Daddy to one pup. Marty was my entire world. Like I said—for almost my entire adult life. I’ve been a little lost without him. But I’ve kept going.” He blinked. “Except our dog, PJ, died the week after Marty. Yeah, my dog was older. Had some health challenges. But I swear he died of a broken heart.”
“You got another dog?” His pain was palpable, and I couldn’t believe he was opening up to me like this.
He nodded. “Daphne. I went down to the animal shelter—just to take a look around. I discovered this little overlooked mutt. Sort of how I felt without Marty. Lost. Abandoned. Essentially, we were a matched pair. I brought her home, and we slowly got to know eachother. She trusts me now—but that took time. And I suppose I needed time to open my heart to her. Getting a pet always means heartbreak ahead. Well—” He cleared his throat. “Unless you’re Marty and you die before your beloved dog. I’m glad it worked out that way. Then the heartbreak was all mine.”
“I’ve never had a dog.” I shrugged.
“Well, you’ve been missing out. I’ll have to introduce you to Daphne. She’s shy—but when she warms up to people, she’s dedicated. She’ll follow you around like a shadow.”
“That…sounds nice.” I’d always wanted a dog, but they were so damn expensive. I didn’t ask how I was going to meet Daphne. That felt too improbable. Mission City had almost forty thousand people. Teetering on the verge of moving from a small town to something larger. Obviously nothing like Toronto. Maybe more like a small neighborhood within the mammoth city.
“Eat up and then, if you’re up to it, we can talk about your plans. You have plans, right? I mean, you don’t have to share.”
My stomach bottomed out.
You have plans, right…
Yeah. No.
Chapter Three
Zahir
The troubled look on Andre’s face assured me that I’d asked the wrong question. Well, or the right question—depending on one’s point of view. His skin was dark enough that if his face drained of color, I couldn’t see it. Well, my tanned skin hid a lot as well—for which I was grateful. The world didn’t need to see every emotion I carried with me. Especially the stuff related to Marty’s passing.
We ate the rest of our meals in silence. Every few minutes, Andre would look out the window and down toward the ground. I suspected we were passing over farms and the occasional little town. Eventually, we’d hit the prairies. I loved the golden wheat fields and endless flat spaces. I especially loved when the sun was out with a few clouds and you could see the shadows on the ground. Flying above the clouds always felt magical to me. Hell, being in an airplane always struck me as a feat of pure genius. Now if we could just sort out the rest of the crap in the world, that would be great.
“You’re finished?” Liliana appeared with her same lovely smile.
“Yes, thank you.” I handed her my tray and Andre did the same. I was reassured he’d eaten most of his meal—including the lemon cake.Have to remember he likes beef, tofu, salmon, and lemon cake.I cast a surreptitious glance at him. At a guess, I figured he ate quite healthy. That said, a twenty-six-year-old could look good without much effort. Forty-one was a bit of a different story. Adopting Daphne hadn’t just been to deal with the loneliness—my doctor was adamant I maintain a level of fitness and, for me, that meant walking several klicks a day. Rain or shine, we were out in the neighborhood. My girl had several rain and winter coats to protect her from the worst of the elements.
Andre gazed out the window again. “It’s hard to believe there are so many people down there—just going about their lives as if everything’s fine. Sometimes I think the world is falling apart, and no one cares.”
Slowly, I nodded. “Do you feel like it’s just your world or the entire globe? And yeah, thirty-eight million Canadians is a lot of people. Over eight billion on the planet is overwhelming.”
He rolled his hand in a gesture I couldn’t interpret. “Me? Them? Who knows?”
I placed my hand on the armrest between us.
He grasped it. “I only told him I was coming. That was it. I didn’t make any plans. I researched him, of course. Not much to find. He has some kind of computer job. His husband works as a director at a camp for LGBTQ youths as well as does some finance stuff for nonprofits. They have two kids who appear happy and healthy.”
“They are great kids. I mean, I can only speak to what I’ve witnessed. No one can truly know what’s in another person’s heart.”
“Can’t they?”
My gaze shot to his.
“I mean…I think I knew my mother. Right? Her hopes and dreams—always for me. She wanted me to be successful—whatever that looked like. Most especially, she wanted me to becomfortable. Her word. I knew what that meant. Enough money to live without constant stress. Well, that’s really hard to do in a city like Toronto. And I’ve looked elsewhere. Life’s just expensive.”
“That’s true. So what is it that you do, Andre?” Because that felt like a safe topic.
He scrunched his nose. “I work as a fitness instructor at a gym. A big chain. Somewhere you’ve probably heard of.”
I considered. “Entirely possible. I don’t go to the gym, per se. We have one in Mission City. I go to the rec center a couple of times a month. Mostly to swim or do some weights. The smallest ones, of course.”
“I could show you.” His eyes widened. “I’m really good at easing people into a routine. Like, exercise is so important. You need to take care of yourself.”
