Sometimes I worried he might make a permanent impression. “Only?” I prompted him. Whatever he wanted to say, he needed to be the one to do it.
“Will you…?” He continued to hold his shaft—although the erection was dying a little.
“Are you asking me to top you?”
He nodded.
“Of course I can. I was mainly a top with Marty. Only on occasion did he want to switch things up.”Damn. Again with bringing up my dead husband.Except Andre really appeared to need assurances.
“Andyou were okay with that?”
“Yes. I’m a switch. I topped more because that was what Marty wanted—but I’m just as happy getting my prostate nailed.”
“Oh. Well, when you put it like that—” He cleared his throat.
I reached for the buttons on my shirt and began to undo them. “If you’re still interested.”
“Yeah. That. Really that.” He resumed stroking his shaft.
I redoubled my effort to get undressed as quickly as possible.At least I know there’s a bottle of lube in the nightstand drawer, and it’s likely not expired.Because the idea of being inside this precious man—to make him mine that way—overwhelmed me.
By the time I was naked, my own cock was fully erect and a drop of precum leaked.
Andre licked his lips.
I tried to calm my libido as I tried to determine the best way to do this. I was so out of practice. Marty and I would just come together when we were in the mood. We never had to think about it—we’d just known what the other wanted. Ourselves, as well. After those first few fumbling times, I’d never had to ask. I was, frankly, out of practice.
“Are you going to touch me?” Andre’s brow furrowed.
“Of course I am.” I moved to the bed. “I’m trying to figure out how to do this without spooking you.”
“I won’t be spooked. I just want to know that you want me as much as I want you.”
To me, our erect cocks indicated interest, but clearly words were required to reassure. “Trust me, I want you so bad I ache.” I knelt on the bed and then moved toward him. “I’m just trying to figure out where to start—because I want all of it all at once.”
“Huh?” Again, his brow furrowed. “Oh, right. Uh…anything would be nice. As long as it’s with you and as long as you’re into it.”
“Yes and yes.” I reached for the drawer of the nightstand and extracted the bottle of lube. I held it up. “Do you want to go this far? Because I’d be happy with just sucking you off.”
“You mean anal?”
I nodded. “Lots of guys aren’t up for that. And some want to build slowly.”I want to say we have all the time in the world, but you might leave tomorrow.
“Yes, and yes.” He offered a cheeky grin while repeating my words. “I’d like you to suck me off and I’d like you inside me.”
“That I can do.” Slowly, I moved toward his thighs.
He spread them for me.
“How much have you…experimented?”
Again with the lip through the teeth. “I’ve used toys. I mean, just since Mom died. Which sounds super weird.”
“But is understandable. Worrying about what others might think is normal. Before I came out, I dreaded what my parents might think. Then they abandoned me anyway, and I realized love comes in many forms and if my parents didn’t love me enough to accept me as I was, that Marty’s love was more than enough.”Again with the MartyExcept framing my relationship with him made the most sense in this scenario.
“I love you had that with him. I’m jealous—but in a good way. You deserve happiness in your life. I’m sorry that was taken away so cruelly.”
Andre’s words hit me hard. Yes, life had been cruel when she’d stolen the love of my life away from me. She was also offering me essentially a second chance—if I was willing to reach out and grab it.
