“That’s—” Zahir cleared his throat. “That was Marty.”
I spun.
His eyes glistened. “I don’t know how you know that, though. But yeah, I had him depicted. He always said he was a lab. God knows, he had the heart for it. And the size.”
“I wish I could’ve known him.” Not just because he’d been a pup, and I’d never met one—but because of the clearly close bond he shared with Zahir. His handler. His Daddy.
Zahir moved to my side. “He would’ve loved you. He didn’t play with other pups—he worried about exposure, of course. And…we just sort of kept that part of our relationship all to ourselves.”
“Thank you for sharing it with me now.”
“With pleasure. He’d get a kick out of this.” Zahir reached for my hand.
I gave it willingly.
He smiled and tugged me over toward a toy chest. “So you’re ready?”
I nodded eagerly.
“Right.” He released my hand to open the lid. Then he knelt and started pulling things out. Ears, paws, and tail came first. “No obligation to dress like a puppy—just here if you want them.”
All the items were the color of a yellow lab.
I cleared my throat. “I would love that. I don’t—” I hesitated. “I don’t know what kind of dog I am.”
He smiled. “Not all pups do. You’ll find a good fit.” He cupped my cheek. “You’re a good boy, Solo.”
My insides warmed. My mom was the only other person on the planet who had called me agood boy. I’d yearned for that praise—teachers, coaches, my dad…but it never had come. I just never had been good enough. Whether because they perceived I was gay or because I had never achieved a level of success they wanted, I didn’t know. “Am I really a good boy?”I want to believe you—I really do.
Zahir’s dark-brown eyes radiated compassion. “I’ll endeavor to always be truthful with you. Okay, Solo? Especially down here. This is a sacred space where you need to know you’ll always be protected. I can try in the outside world—to the extent that you’ll let me—but here, with your permission, I take on all the burdens of the world. And you’ll always be my good boy. Unless you’re purposely naughty and playing—but that’s a conversation for another time. Now, would you like scritches?”
I vibrated with excitement as I lowered myself to the ground. I went on all fours and approached Zahir cautiously.
He extended his hand, and I sniffed it. With obvious deliberateness, he moved his hand to my head. He scratched my head and, after a moment, behind the ears.
In bliss, I shut my eyes.This. This. This. This is what I’ve always wanted but hadn’t known howto ask for.
“My sweet, dear boy. Such a good puppy.” Zahir crooned. “Did you want to play? Ears and paws? Or just cuddles?”
The floor was covered with a super soft and squishy carpet, but my knees already ached. I gazed up at him. “Cuddles for now? Play later?”
“Absolutely.” He pointed to a massive fabric sectional in the corner. “That’s a great place where I can hold you.” He extended his hand.
I took it and we rose together. Before we could move, though, I put all of Marty’s things back in the chest. “For safekeeping.”
“Such a good boy.”
I beamed. I’d never tire of hearing that I’d done a good job or that I was a good puppy.
Zahir led me over to the couch. He settled some pillows in the corner, then sat against them. He petted his lap.
I crawled beside him and then angled my body so I could place my head on his lap. After a moment, he pulled a blanket over me. I settled even deeper into his embrace as he gently stroked my head. “Rest now, little one. You’ve had an emotional morning. Just take it easy, okay? I’ve got you. I’ll always have you.”
He didn’t really have a right to make that promise. He couldn’t know what would happen tomorrow when I met Alaina, Keegan, and Jai. Not to mention the two other dogs. I sighed. “Thank you…Daddy.”You have no right to call him that. You haven’t had a discussion about consent, limits, or anything else.
And yet, when he stroked my cheek, the rightness wrapped me like the blanket he’d given me. With that, I drifted off to sleep.
When I awoke, Zahir’s soft snores reached me.Poor man. I’m a lot to handle.He’d also come home from what he’d said was a whirlwind business trip and, although it’d been successful, had also been exhausting.
