“Cool. I can leave you the information about the Leisure Center. They’ll charge you to use the equipment, but it would probably be worth it. I’ll leave some cash—”
“Do theyonly take cash?”
Zahir held my gaze. “No, they take cards as well.”
“I can pay for a trip to the gym.”Sheesh, defensive much? He’s just trying to help.
“If you can, then that’s great. I just don’t want you spending all your money when you’re not certain when you’ll be going back to Toronto.”
“Yeah, well, thanks for that.”I need to stop jumping to conclusions and assuming everyone’s looking down on me.
“It’s my pleasure. Look, I’ll leave some cash. You should have some in case you get somewhere and the point-of-sale machine isn’t working. Even with good technology, things happen.” He offered a smile. “I’m going to take Daphne out for a walk—is there anything you think you might need?”
I shook my head.
“Well, anything you want or need? Go for it if I have it and ask if I don’t. I’m truly a simple guy.”
“And I can’t tell you how much I appreciate that.” Gently, I returned Daphne to him. “Tomorrow, pup. We’ll get to know each other then.”
I’d have sworn she smiled. So I scratched her ears one more time before rising. “Uh, thanks.” With that, I headed upstairs. Since I’d unpacked my toiletries kit before my shower, everything was ready to go.
The bathroom was luxurious with a soaker tub, a massive shower, two sinks, and a toilet behind a door. Very intimate and yet offering a bit of privacy if two people were in here at the same time. I could picture Zahir and Marty in the space.
Marty was tall, broad, and white. With blond hair and blue eyes, he was the opposite of me. I liked that Zahir kept a couple of pictures—including their wedding photo—around the house. Like hewanted to keep those memories of his love close. Like I kept a photo of Mom in my wallet.
I made a note to look at it again before bed.
Actual preparations took little time. I made my way to the window in the bedroom and stared out. I could only see the lights of Mission. I hadn’t taken the time earlier to see the view of the volcano.Tomorrow will be good enough.
I headed to the massive bed, but something beneath it caught my attention. I bent and reached under. My hand touched fabric, and as I trailed my fingers along, I had a sense of what I’d discovered.
After double-checking that the bedroom door was closed, I gently tugged at what I’d found. Slowly, I pulled the dog bed out. The thing was light brown, stuffed, and huge. Like, I suspected Marty would’ve fit in here without a problem.
You can’t. This was Marty’s. This is Zahir’s. You’d be betraying his trust. You just should put it back and get into the adult bed.
And I wanted to. I really did. Except I’d never had a dog bed of my own. Never curled up as I’d always wanted. Sometimes I didn’t understand my kink. My compulsion. In this moment, I couldn’t remember why wanting to be a puppy was such a bad thing.
Zahir clearly hadn’t thought me weird.If I’d taken the pin off—like I planned—he wouldn’t have known. He wouldn’t have been able to use the right words to calm me.Of course I shouldn’t have needed calming—but that was an issue for another day.
Although a blanket lay tucked in the bed, the temperature was far too warm to need it. Even with the window open, the room was warm. I considered turning on the ceiling fan, but decided against it. Then, after an extensive contemplation, I decided to just do what was in my heart.Zahir said I could do anything I wanted. I just…won’t tell him. I’ll put everything away in the morning, and he’ll never know. No harm, nofoul—right?In truth, I didn’t know. I felt Marty’s spirit, though, although that made no sense. Almost as if he were giving me permission. Like he understood my stress and knew I’d relax in a dog bed—even one that wasn’t mine.
So I put the blanket aside and crawled in. I wore shorts, so this felt like I was being respectful. I loved naked, but that felt a step too far. I curled into the bed and laid my head on the side.
My heart rate, that had picked up upon the discovery of the bed, now slowed. A languid feeling seeped into my muscles—and then down into my bones. I took a few deep breaths and tried to calm myself.
I was supposed to call Demetrius back. Oh well, it’ll wait until morning.
When I woke in the morning, I had the blanket over me and one foot stuck out as a temperature regulator of sorts. At first, I panicked—thinking Zahir had come in, found me, and put the blanket on. After a moment, though, I remembered pulling it over myself when I’d gotten chilled.
Gingerly, and very carefully, I stretched.
Dawn crept in through the window, and I checked the time. I checked my phone and discovered six o’clock was just around the corner.
Time for a run.
I carefully folded the blanket, just the way I remembered, and pushed everything under the bed. Then I tossed on a T-shirt, organized my phone, added socks and running shoes, and then crept down the stairs.
The older house had not one, but two creaky stairs. I made a note of them, then moved into the kitchen. On the table, I found a note with a five twenty-dollar bills beneath it.
