“I won't put it on now.” I decide. “Because this isn’t goodbye. You will see me wearing it when all of this is over.”
He opens his mouth to protest. “But I—“
My lips press against his in a gentle kiss, making him forget his words, and making me forget the world around us, even if it is just for a brief moment. Heat flushes into my cheeks in surprise at my own bravery. I’m kissing him.
When I tear away from him, Sable looks at me with widened eyes. Both of us are out of breath and at a loss for words. His short beard feels rough on my skin as I place my hand on his cheek.
“You are going to see me in this,” I whisper. “Afterwards.”
The line of his mouth tightens a fraction more.
“Okay. Afterwards.”
I put on my emerald gown in silence, all while he is busying himself with fastening the straps of his coat, though I can see the tension in his shoulders in the small mirror by the wall.
When I finish, Sable’s eyes find mine, and I give him a slow nod before he takes my hand in his.
I am ready.
Or at least, as ready as I can be.
“You know that you don’t have to do this, right?” He squeezes my hand once, then presses a kiss against the back of my hand. “I would never put this burden on your shoulders.”
“I know,” I swallow. “But I’ll never forgive myself if I don’t. Not just because of you. But because of me.”
Sable frowns, and his gaze sweeps over my legs. He knows.
“Ever since your sister told me that the Glim could be leading us towards your fate or mine, I have come to think our fates are intertwined. Maybe it leads us to both of our ends, or both of our beginnings.”
A faint light twinkles in the depths of his dark eyes. He sees it too. Our future. Hope.
“So yes,” I say with a soft voice, “I want to do this.”
The air in the cave is cold and damp as we step onto the deck, laced with salt and something that I can’t quite name. It tastes like iron on my tongue, the same taste that came with the drowning of Rat.
Death.
Swallowed by distance, I can no longer make out the walls of the cave. Around the Noctis, the water lies black and still.
The crew is already assembled, waiting for us. Not lined up, not neat, but gathered in a loose half circle near the mainmast. The same way they stood for my Tribunal. Lanterns swing gently above us, but the light doesn’t go far. What’s not swallowed by the dark planks is swallowed by the shadows that surround us, each belonging to one of the men. Dozens of them, way more than I have ever seen at one time.
Even with their faces turned downward, I can see how hollow they look. When I glance back at Sable, I am struck by how hollow he looks too. How his skin stretches over his cheekbones, how deep and dark his eye sockets look.
Only when we reach the center of the deck does Sable let go of my hand.
“Crew of the Noctis”, he begins, his gaze sweeping over his men.
“In the past few weeks, we have followed the Glim, not knowing if it will be the cure to our curse, or if it will lead us to our doom. I don’t take any of your trust for granted.”
When he tenses, I give him an encouraging nod.
“Today, Risa will sing your shadows back. We will do it quickly,” he continues, voice low and controlled. “We will do it in order. You follow orders and keep your heads.”
A few men bob their heads in agreement, some swallow loud enough for me to hear.
Sable turns to me, and for a moment, the mask of the captain slips, leaving only the man who so carefully cleaned me moments ago. The man whose bed I shared last night.
“You will not endanger her,” he commands, all while keeping his gaze on me. “If your shadow is too far gone and will not return, make space for the next man.”
