“No,” he replies sharply, tapping his ringed finger against the railing. I refocus on the Glim, not wanting to give him the satisfaction.
“It’s too important to place in the hands of an outsider. Especially you.”
“Especially me?” I don’t look at him.
“A siren,” he answers matter-of-factly. Heat rises within me, threatening to burst. My inner siren suggests throwing him from the nest. I inhale deeply and force her down.
“Interesting,” he murmurs, studying me from the corner of his eye. “You know something about you changes when you get angry, right?”
“What in the abyss are you talking about?” I snap, glancing at him before staring straight ahead again, my breathing quickening.
“Your eyes. I saw it yesterday too. They turn white and foggy. And your scales…” he lowers his voice slightly, “they start to glisten.”
“I would know if that were true. Stop toying with me, Sable,” I mutter, pressing my lips together.
“Believe it or not, it proves my point. You might not have a tail, but you are what you are. You don’t control your anger. You act on instinct, not reason.”
He turns back to the sea, his gaze fixed on the Glim ahead. When he looks away, I turn toward him sharply, my hair whipping in the wind.
“You know nothing about me. And you want to lecture me on self-control?” A laugh escapes me. I spit my next words.
“You were the one who held a dagger against my neck.”
My breathing grows heavy, a knot tightening in my throat. “Threatening to pluck my scales,” I add, moving my hands over them instinctively.
“I wasn’t myself that day.” His words come out like a confession, his voice rough.
“That’s what Grim told me. But you did what you did, and I am what I am. Maybe we’re not so different.” I inhale deeply and swallow my anger. It isn’t worth it. He won’t see me differently, and I won’t see him differently either.
If I’m a monster, then so is he.
“Maybe. But that doesn’t mean I trust you.”
“I don’t trust you either,” I snap.
“Good.”
“Wonderful.”
Silence stretches between us as we watch the Glim and the sun sink toward the horizon.
Another week passes after my encounter with Sable in the crow’s nest. I avoid him, and he doesn’t seek me out as long as the Glim remains steady. Nightglass says it may take another day or two before we reach the Sea of Bones.
While the crew’s mood lifts at the thought of sailing home, fear grows in me. I don’t know what awaits me there, but I’m certain I won’t be welcome. There’s been no chance to jump overboard since we left the smaller islands behind, and even if there were, I don’t think I’d take it.
If the Glim is the Sea enforcing fate, leaving the Noctis would be going against its will. Maybe staying is part of something I don’t understand yet, something that will bring me closer to getting my tail. Besides, I’ve grown to like life at sea. It’s as close as I’ll ever get to living a life I would’ve lived with my father. I tell myself these things so I don’t have to admit that nothing ties me to Aurelith, that no one is waiting there for me.
So I survive, day by day, clinging to the last scraps of trust I still have in the sea.
Tonight, the crew celebrates sailing home beneath a cloudless sky. A makeshift table stretches from the main mast toward the bow, and nearly the entire crew gathers there, singing, eating, sharing stories. Like most nights, I eat nearby, perched on a barrel or a low stool. I’m never invited to join them, so I don’t. Instead, I refill mugs and carry empty plates below deck. I come back from my last run and sit down on my spot, the barrel, and swallow down a dry piece of bread. I’m lucky today, because there’s no mold on it.
“Eryse!”
My head snaps up. Grim sits at the far end of the table, waving me over and pointing to a free space beside him.
“Come eat.”
I furrow my brows and glance around, briefly wondering if another woman has somehow appeared on the ship without mynoticing. Once I’m certain he’s addressing me, I rise and move toward him, the hem of my gown brushing the deck as the warm wind pulls it along behind me. I climb over the bench and squeeze into the narrow space beside him, ignoring the looks I get.
