Match collects the votes of each crew member in a small pouch. Each pirate throws in a piece of colored glass, though I don’t know the meaning behind each one, but by the seas, there’s a lot of red.
Then the captain counts the votes and hands the pouch to Grim. He counts them again, and they nod in agreement.
Because of the blood rushing in my ears, I cannot make out what Sable says. The dizziness of my drained magic makes me sway on my feet. Again, my vision blurs. Sable swallows hard, the muscles in his face tight, his forehead carved with deep lines. There’s that clouded sorrow in his eyes again.
The next thing I know, I am moved toward the plank of the ship. So the decision has been made. This will be my fate. I walk it down with unsteady feet, remembering Grim‘s words from earlier. I have to accept my fate. As I reach the end, I glance over my shoulder to find them all gawking at me. Some smile in victory. In the center is Sable, with his arms crossed over his chest. When I look him in the eyes again, they’re darker than before, his hat casting a shadow over his face. His expression gives nothing away.
Then there’s Lark. Tears are streaming down his face as Nightglass hugs him tightly against his chest. The sight of him breaks my heart. He’s too young to witness death by drowning. Too young for any of this.
“It’s okay, Lark. I‘m a siren. The sea is my home.” I manage a smile, and he gives me a sharp nod. He should know that I’ll be at peace.
Turning back around, I step to the very edge. The drop stretches beneath me, and for a moment, my body refuses to follow through. Every instinct claws at me to stay, to fight, to turn back and beg for one more breath. My toes curl against the wood, as if that could keep me here. If the sea does not show mercy now, it will take me and keep me in its depths.
It doesn’t matter now.
I close my eyes.
And jump.
The water swallows me whole. I sink fast. Too fast. I don’t hold my breath, the weight of my wrong body dragging me under. Useless, human legs that don’t belong here. The sea presses its heaviness on my ribs, my mouth, my legs.
Brave.
I hear the voice of my mother surrounding me as the water drags me under. I have done this many times before, but I never had to fear death. My last hope is my shift. Maybe the sea will show me mercy at last. There’s no wound to heal, only my legs to correct into a glistening tail. My true form.
So I open my mouth and invite the water in. It rushes into my lungs and steals the last breath away from me as I silently scream.
The sun fractures above me, light splintering into pale ribbons that grow thinner the further I sink. If this is the last thing I see, at least it is something beautiful.
The pressure grows unbearable. My lungs seize, my vision darkens at the edges, and the warmth I felt earlier is gone, replaced by a numb, spreading cold.
Then something shifts.
“Little siren, you are drowning.” A faint voice whispers into my ear. “Let him help you.”
I am pushed upward by an invisible force that curls around my ribs like smoke. Through the haze of salt and fading light, a shadow cuts through the water above me.
My mind screams as I recognize him.
It’s Sable.
Chapter Twelve
Ifallinandoutof consciousness as strong hands pull me from the depths. The sea lifts in shades of blue as the pressure on my body lifts with every heartbeat.
We break through the surface. Instead of gasping for air, my chest jerks uselessly, lungs burning as they try to pull in breath and only drag water in instead. I cough so hard my body folds in on itself. Panic crashes back in as I realize I’m still drowning, even with my head above the water, my lungs are full of the sea. My limbs are too numb, too weak – to swim on my own.
Then there’s pressure on my ribs, and a warm body behind me. Arms tighten around me as they pull me against a hard chest, causing me to choke. He repeats the motion, and I choke again. Only this time, the water I’ve been holding bursts out of me. I cough and choke out more and more water until finally, I can pull in air.
“Don’t you dare die now, little fish.”
The world turns. One arm slides around my waist, while his other hand keeps my head above the surface. Then he draws me back against his chest. Instead of the horizon, there’s a cloudless sky. Sable keeps me afloat.
I draw in another long breath. Then exhale, and repeat.
“There you go.”
I tell myself that I can float here with him for a little while longer and pretend. Pretend that I was not forced to walk the plank, that I didn’t almost drown. That he didn’t jump after me. When the coughing finally eases, he loosens his hold slightly, keeping one arm firmly around my waist.
