“I have missed you the last two mornings. This feeling has made me aware that, er—” Another swallowing. A blush crept up his cheeks. “That I have come to have a regard for you. An affection, one might say.”
This set her eyelids fluttering. “I beg your pardon?”
“Oh, the devil’s bollocks. Mrs. Reid.” He blew air out through his mouth, puffing his cheeks. “What I am trying to say, is that I enjoy your company.”
She stared at him. And then she realized that he was waiting for her to say something in return. “I enjoy your company as well.”
“And, er—” he winced. “I have come to think of you in the ways that a man might think of a woman.”
Nell would have said that she was a woman that could not be shocked. But this did. A strangled gurgle came out of her mouth. Had she not attempted and failed to beguile him? Andnowhe found he held regard? When she expressed interest, he feinted and dodged, and when she no longer availed herself to him, he pursued? What sort of inefficient dance was this? Was she supposed to feint and weave, or was she to accept his attentions? Was there a choreography that everyone else learned and she had not noticed it all along?
“I didn’t mean for it to sound that way. Oh, damn it all. I meant, that my regard is more than that of friendship, though it is that as well, of course.”
A new feeling shoved away her concerns of a script she didn’t know. This awkward and faltered speech of his was not unlike her own stunted attempts to show her own interest. This new feeling dazzled her in a way she hadn’t felt before. It was light, fizzy, lemonade colored, and pure. Before the fast-churning gears of her mind could stop her, let her consult the encyclopedia of possible reactions, she blurted, “I like you, too.”
He met her gaze and stared, as if she were a three-headed goat.
“I mean.” She leaned forward as if she might have to whisper. “I mean it like what you said. As a woman likes a man. More than any other kind of friend.”
Beckett continued to stare at her, and his dark visage could be seen as intimidating and angry, but she knew it now, and it wasn’t that. It was surprise and hope. Even she could see that. That he was unvarnished here, as vulnerable and open as she was.
“Really.”
Nell nodded once. “Yes. I like that you don’t talk to me. On our walks, I mean.”
He huffed a small chuckle. “Yes, I like that as well.”
“There are so many thoughts to sort through. A person needs space and quiet to think.”
“Yes, one does.”
“But I prefer walking with you. It steadies me. And not just when there’s ice on the ground,” she said, referring to the other morning when she’d slipped and he caught her.
“I’m happy to keep you steady. You…warm me. To others.”
She smiled at him, and he returned it. They had an accord. And her chest fluttered with it.
Jacobs entered the room with an unrequested tea tray. Perhaps it was a way for him to check on them, to make sure she was safe. But she was quite safe. The safest she had ever been. But Nell and Beckett continued to grin at each other, waiting for Jacobs to make his departure.
Jacobs glanced about, but Nell didn’t bother giving him instruction. Apparently satisfied, he left. Once he was gone, Beckett sighed.
“I have never met a woman with whom I wanted to spend all day.”
“Most people are exhausting,” Nell agreed.
Beckett picked his hands off the sofa and approached her as if she might bolt. Her heart thundered like a prey animal, but she did not feel hunted in the least. She felt like something wonderful approached. Like a tray laden with all the best cakes.
And then he was in front of her, and she could hear his breath, also shallow and quick, and the smell of the pomade he used to smooth his hair, and the leather of new boots. “I should like to kiss you.”
“I should also like that.” She echoed his phrasing, staring up into his eyes, unsure, uncertain, but utterly entranced. What would come next was outside of her prior experience.
He cupped his hand at her jaw, tentative and gentle as he edged closer to her. She reached up to mirror his actions, andhe bent his head and touched her lips with his. As if they had both been struck by a spark, they pulled away, eyes locked. They rejoined again, mouth to mouth, this time firmer, more insistent. More pleasurable, new sensations pulsed through her, unveiling a host of experiences that now seemed appealing.
Beckett pulled away from her, his eyes as glazed as hers felt. “I want you to consider all the ways in which we may pursue a future. At the moment, all I can think of is to ask you to be my wife. But that position entails a great deal of pressure. Will you think on it?”
Nell nodded, unable to make her mind speed ahead of her mouth as it typically did.
“I have an appointment to get to, otherwise I would stay with you all day, you know I would.”
