Julian suppressed a shudder. “Yes.”
Even Delphine made a face. “If he was still wealthy, I could understand.”
Julian frowned. He knew from Fairport’s own mouth that he was in need financially, but was it that bad? “That bad?”
Delphine laughed. “After your girl postponed the engagement, Mama Fairport sent letters inviting all the age-appropriate heiresses from New York to Boston to visit her this summer. Expect a deluge of Americans in the ballrooms.”
Julian laughed at her tone of distaste. “I won’t be around much longer, so that isn’t a threat to me.”
“Yes, still pursing the lofty summit of the Matterhorn?”
“No. I took a contract in Argentina.”
Delphine stopped short and put her hand on his arm. “But why? You were so excited about the Alps.”
Julian shook his head, frowning. “It’s not right. I can’t, I mean, it’s hard to—” He stopped babbling and took a breath. Before he could start his thought anew, Delphine looped her arm through his.
“Heartbreak,” she said simply.
Julian nodded his head, feeling that burlap sack gnawed completely open, and his guts spilling out everywhere. “I can’t be that close to her and not confess my feelings. The last months have been agony. It’s better if I just stay away.”
Delphine nodded as they slowed to a stately amble. The entrance to the park was getting closer. The groom and her horses were at the ready for her. “Why should you not tell her? Why should you not be with her?”
Julian scoffed. “I’m old. I’m poor. My career takes me to the other side of the world for decades at a time.”
Delphine considered his options. “Age is relative. She’s rich. And why could she not go with you? Miss Bridewell strikes me as the sort of person who rather likes adventure.”
Julian blinked. It had never occurred to him that Ophelia would want to go with him. Or that staying in London and having a family might not be what she wanted for a future. He honestly didn’t know what she wanted. He felt like a complete dunce. Why had he never asked what she had wanted? Why had he assumed she would be like the conventional women of theton, when she was organizing mountain expeditions instead of charity drives? “Oh.”
Delphine patted his shoulder as she extricated her arm from his. “Not that I meddle in other people’s personal affairs. However, I think you taking that contract is a mistake. You’ll find another one when the time is right. But if you never confess your feelings, if you never ask Miss Bridewell what she wants, you will shrivel. Take a chance, Julian. Give her that opportunity to be with you. The one you couldn’t give to me.” She gave him a wistful smile before turning to hail her groom.
Julian watched her mount and ride away. Pulling away from his present course seemed too difficult. If he broke his contract, would he ever be trusted by another company again? The clatter of other horses pulled him from his reverie. His walk home took longer than usual, his thoughts heavy and churning.
