“I wanted to show Prudence something beautiful, something I knew.”
His mother shook her head, and he knew she was thinking of him in disparaging ways. “And a few days in, Granson shows up at twilight, asking for a Lenny Morgan.”
His mother looked unimpressed. “You say that as if you expect me to realize something important.”
“It was very important! It made me uneasy. I am not typically aware of that particular sensation, and I wanted to get out of there as soon as I possibly could.”
“And that’s when you threatened her?”
“I did not threaten her. I never threatened her. I would never.” Leo sighed. Where was the blasted coffee? “She wanted to know who Granson was, why I was frightened, and why I wanted to leave. She insisted that she would stay in the cottage if I didn’t tell her everything, to which I agreed.”
“You agreed to stay?”
“No. I agreed that she could stay. But that I would leave.”
“So you said you would leave her to a stranger who frightened you?”
“It sounds terrible when you say it.” Leo’s head felt like it had been suddenly cleaved into two distinct halves. Both of which pounded. “And I only said it so that she would come with me.”
His mother made a noise of understanding and rocked in her chair, thumping her cane.
“So you understand?” he asked, feeling very relieved that his mother was on his side.
“Of course I do. And that was the threatening part. I love you dearly, Leo, but I hope you have adequately apologized.”
He sat back, stunned. “Well, I would have apologized.”
Again her eyebrows went up. “Would have?”
“If she would have seen me. I felt that an apology had to be made in person. But for months, she ignored my notes. I couldn’t help it if she didn’t want to see me.”
“Fair point, but you could have done some sort of gesture to let her know of your wish to speak with her.”
“I did! I went to her ball. I was there at midnight and raised the bidding to an extravagant amount!” Leo was sweating, and it smelled like the garbage heaps in summer.
His mother once again cocked her head at him, and he knew in his bones that she would not be taking his side. “The ball I forced you to attend. And pray tell me, who won the bidding to escort Prudence into the dining room?”
“Eyeball.”
They sat in silence. Jeffrey entered with a pot of coffee and a breakfast tray. The footman poured the cup, which Leo snatched up immediately. He drank it so quickly he scalded the roof of his mouth. The shame coursed through him. He hadn’t wanted to spend the money. The money that kept them fed and warm.
The money that had seemed so necessary and essential, because without it, Leo felt like he couldn’t breathe properly. Butnow his father was here. Granson was here. And that fist that had lived, knotted in his stomach, had relaxed and released. He no longer worried his father might arrive and take it all. His father was here, and surprisingly, was very thrifty.
If only his father had arrived before the ball, Leo would have acted differently. He would have to let Eyeball raise the price to the sky, and he would have still outbid.
His mother waited, looking enormously displeased. “Leo. I am your mother, and that means I will always be your champion. But when you act in counterproductive ways, it makes it difficult to cheer you on. Therefore, I must ask you, do you wish to have an ongoing relationship with Prudence Cabot?”
He looked out the window, dull winter afternoon sunlight gilded the nude tree branches. Could he even say what he wanted aloud?
“Tell me the truth, Leo. Even if you are embarrassed to do so.”
He closed his eyes, which was a terrible idea. The world spun until he opened them again. “Yes. I want more time with her. She—the time I spent—it was more—I mean, the happiness that—” He sighed and splashed the cold water from the ewer on the back of his neck.
“Very articulate, thank you. Do you think you might be in love with her?” His mother asked this question as if it were as simple as saying it.
“I don’t know. What does that word even mean?”
“It means, do you think you’ve made a terrible mistake in letting her go to the Matterhorn without telling her how you feel?”
