She had made it clear that she was still seeking a fortune.
That I was not enough for her.
I had been trying to accept the truth, but I couldn’t shake the image of her face when I had held it between my hands. She had seemed uncertain—afraid—and I wondered if she had meant those words at all. If there was any hope that I could still change her mind, I would never be able to forget her. She had told meto tell Colin that she was still a fortune hunter, but I hadn’t been able to repeat those words.
Deep in my bones, I knew she hadn’t meant it.
There was more to her story that she hadn’t told me.
The hesitancy in her eyes, the fear, surely it hadn’t been in my imagination. She cared for me—she might have even loved me—but something besides ambition was stopping her.
“I-I think I would rather stay here.” My voice was firm. I wasn’t in the mood to be gawked at. And I had no idea if Arabella would be in attendance. The thought of seeing her made my pulse quicken. I was embarrassed for how freely I had spoken and how swiftly I had expected her to forgive my deception. My brother had already derided me mercilessly for it.
Colin shook his head. “This is an opportunity for you. I will begin introducing you to my acquaintances. How else will you obtain clients?”
I rubbed a circle over my forehead. He was right. Colin and I had made great strides toward mending our relationship, and refusing his generosity wouldn’t help matters. I took a deep breath, already imagining the whispers and gasps that would ensue the moment Colin and I stepped out the door.
Fireworks were the spectacle that people thought they had come to see, but I suspected we would be the greatest spectacle of the evening.
“Very well,” I muttered. “Let us give society something new to gossip about.”
Colin smiled before tugging the bell pull. Morris arrived with shocking speed. The idea of stepping outside as myself and not as Colin caused more nerves than I would have expected. I had grown accustomed to borrowing the respectability of his name.
But now I would have to build something of my own.
Morris helped me dress and arranged my hair in my usual style, and by the time I stood in front of the mirror beside Colin,we still looked alike, but distinctly individual, just the way I liked it. We set off in the carriage, and a few minutes later, in the dim light of Sydney Gardens, we strode across the grass toward the bulk of the crowd.
Music and laughter filled the cool evening air. It had rained lightly earlier in the day, and the smell of damp earth and flowers drifted up to my nose. Lanterns illuminated the faces we passed, and I searched them for Arabella. Colin and I had already captured the attention of many promenaders who glanced twice in our direction. The attention was already stirring up anxiousness in my chest, a tightness that made breathing difficult.
My gaze settled on one particular old woman, and I quickly steered Colin in the opposite direction. “Wickerton.”
Colin followed my gaze.
I didn’t dare speak with that woman tonight. Her wide eyes were already scrutinizing the crowd, and I knew she carried a tiny book of gossip in that reticule on her arm.
“She is bound to see us eventually.” Colin straightened his jacket. “So long as I am better dressed than you, I have no objection to being noticed by anyone.”
My gaze froze on another familiar face. In a circle of ladies across the lawn, a young woman stared at me with one of the most venomous glares I had ever seen.
Even Miss Sharp’s glare had not compared to this one.
Mrs. Kate Ollerton’s eyes flickered between Colin and me, and I felt the daggers she was throwing prickling against my skin. Though she was young, her marriage to Mr. Ollerton had granted her power in society. She was respected and wealthy, and apparently very defensive of her friends. She must have known everything about my impersonation of Colin, and she clearly thought the worst of me.
“There is something I must do,” I said. “I’ll return shortly.”
Colin shot me a confused look, but I squared my shoulders and started in Mrs. Ollerton’s direction.
As intimidating as she was, she might be able to lead me to Arabella. If all I could do was apologize, that would be enough. But I couldn’t bear the thought of never speaking to her again.
Mrs. Ollerton lifted her chin at my approach, politely stepping aside from the circle of ladies she had been conversing with. All five of them stared in my direction as I bowed.
Mrs. Ollerton curtsied, but it was shallow and obviously done grudgingly. Her eyes swept over my face with disdain. “Which one are you?”
I walked closer to the nearest bushes, creating more distance from her companions. “Clark.” I kept my voice calm. I had no intention of being defensive or denying accountability for what I had done. “My brother, Colin, invited me here this evening.”
Mrs. Ollerton interlocked her fingers in front of her, her eyes never leaving my face. “I hope you have not come looking for Arabella.”
“Is she here?”
